Relationship lies you should stop telling yourself
There are relationship lies you should stop telling yourself. Falling in love is a beautiful experience. The feeling cannot be explained, it can only be experienced. The fast heartbeats, racing thoughts and raging hormones are evidence of a heart struck by cupid, the god of love.
But sustaining that feeling is never easy. Most couples think that because they love each other, there is no room for problems or that they will remain that way forever. There are things people believe about relationships that are simply not true and won’t help them have healthy happy relationships.
Stop telling yourself:
‘We should be having sex all the time’
Some couples worry that they are not having as much sex as they think they should. Young children, work, study, travel, running households has dropped sex off the agenda.
If you are very stressed and tired, all your blood will be rushing away from your genitals and the last thing you will feel like doing is having sex. This may not have anything to do with attraction to your partner or the state of your relationship.
‘Relationships shouldn’t be this hard’
If this is true, then every time an issue comes up to test or challenge couples, they will hit a wall. Believing this will set you up to fail. The fact is, sometimes relationships and human experiences are complicated, painful and difficult, but similarly the feelings of love and connection are also so amazing that it makes the tough times worth working through. It’s the hardships that make you stronger and help you grow both as a couple and as individuals.
‘If they love me, they will change’
Many couples in limbo unable to progress are sometimes caught in an internal struggle between what they want their partners to be and who they actually are.
Just because somebody loves you, doesn’t mean that they can be someone they are not, or give you something they don’t have. Even if they want to, it’s like asking a cat to be a dog, or a poor person to give you a million pounds.
There’s room to grow and negotiate, but both parties have to be open to doing this for the relationship to work. But what it comes down to is you may have to accept your partner for who they are, or recognise that the relationship is not going to work long term and find someone who does meet your needs and gives you what you want.