To snoop or not to snoop

Sometimes, two people who love each other can’t resist the urge to snoop on each other. It doesn’t matter whether they are married or dating. If you are in a relationship, you have probably looked at your partner’s personal information without their knowledge at one time or another.

Angry woman

Angry woman


You know how it happens. A phone gets left on the table or on the bed and you just can’t resist the urge to take a quick peek. Women take the lead when it comes to this sneaky behaviour, and some have a good excuse for this too. Is it wrong or right to snoop on your partner? Some people shared their opinions with us.

Ngozi: Snooping saved my life

I agree that is better to respect personal limits and not to snoop on your loved one supposing that communication is open, information is provided and you know where you are. I was married to a passive-aggressive husband that never told me a lot about his feelings or appreciation for our marriage.

However, he had two personal friends with whom he shared long phone conversations. I was never included on the content of such conversations. My bad feelings were there all the time. I was worried about what was going on with him, but went nowhere about his plans.
Finally, I had to install a system in his computer, and so I got access to his emails and discovered that he was planning to leave me, the dates, the place where he will move to, and even his own budget for the move. His friend was helping him all along to cover up his decision.

I was devastated, but finally knew what was going on. I could put my head into preparing for what was coming, and try to salvage something out of this disaster. Even then, it took me more than a year to overcome the sense of loss and betrayal, because he never told me why he was unhappy or what we could do together to make him happier, he did prefer to share with his friends but not with me. I really wanted my marriage to last but it didn’t. If I didn’t snoop, I would have been left high and dry by this man who claimed he loved me once. It is good to snoop on your partner if you have the feeling that something is up with him or her. It will save you a lot of pains.

Esther: Ask your partner questions instead of snooping

He or she who snoops will find what they are looking for. That’s my philosophy.
All that we need is actually inside of us, if you have a feeling that something fishy is going on, it probably is, instead of snooping why not ask your partner outright? Sometimes, I think people snoop because their heart cannot believe what their head says is true. So, they are in a way looking for evidence for their heart, that doesn’t make it right anyway you look at it. Will snooping and getting your proof change whatever decision you need to make? I don’t think so, because you already know what you will do anyway.
Janet: No matter how much you snoop, your man can still cheat

Snooping around is the worst thing in a relationship. Don’t ladies have better things to do than snooping on their men? They tend to forget that no matter how you snoop and stalk on your partner to catch him if he cheats, he will still cheat on you. The only thing women should focus on is how to make themselves better in their relationships.

Kayode: It’s wrong to go through your partner’s stuff

It’s not okay for someone to go through your personal stuff without your permission. If your partner wants to find out something, they should ask and not snoop. It is wrong to snoop because you are not respecting your partner’s right to privacy. Everyone has a right to keep certain stuff private. Trust is part of a good relationship and maybe that’s what you can talk about with your partner, because lack of trust and respect is the force behind snooping.

William: Snooping means you care for your partner

The closer you are to someone the more you want to know more about them. It means you care. It is a little creepy, but it can stem from the closeness of a relationship or insecurities.

I’m open in my relationship, so there really is nothing to hide. If my girlfriend feels the need to go through my phone and emails and any of that, she’s welcome to do so. I don’t have anything to hide nor do I care to hide it. Even if she puts a GPS tracker in my car, she still won’t find anything suspicious.

I know the password to her email and facebook accounts, but have I never gone into her email without her permission. It’s none of my business. Unless she’s having a secret sexy rendezvous with a stranger and I suspect it, I might with enough reasonable cause check her emails, but that has never happened. I even let my girlfriend reply my text messages, and I could care less if she went through all my texts.

Solomon: You don’t respect boundaries when you snoop

Snooping means you can’t respect boundaries, you are controlling and idle. It’s one thing to receive permission to dig through your partner’s stuff and do it, it’s another to do it behind their back and invade their privacy. Just because you are with someone doesn’t mean they automatically drop all their rights as a person. No, it doesn’t.


I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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