How we play the wooing game
Wooing a woman is not easy for some men and some women don’t play hard to get. These days, some ladies would rather not waste a guy’s time by playing hard to get, they prefer to go straight to the point and tell him yes if they like him, or no, try someone else, if they don’t fancy him.
For these ladies, this early stand gives them the opportunity to get to explore each other and move to the next level if necessary. Some men don’t believe in chasing a lady for long but they expect the playing hard to get stuff.
Some Nigerian young men and women shared their thoughts regarding the wooing game.
Stephanie: I won’t say yes to a man on our first meeting
Some guys have their wooing rules well activated and consider a lady letting them hunt for them a turn on while some guys like blunt and straight to the point kind of ladies. On other hand, some ladies find it hard to even give a yes or a no answer. I won’t say yes to man on our first meeting, it will make me appear desperate and cheap. No matter how much I like him, I will give him time to gather his thoughts and to think if he really wants me or he’s just carried away by my beauty.
Nonso: I love the chase, but I have my limits
Personally, I don’t like it when a woman drags her response unnecessarily. I love the chase no doubt but it has a limit. If she plays hard to get for long, it has a way if making me go the extra mile to get her laid and then dump her in revenge for giving me so much stress.
Gladys: Why pretend if you love him?
I believe response to a proposal depends on one’s exposure and belief. I believe we can all tell whether there’s a possibility of dating someone the moment we set eyes on the person. If there’s a possibility, why pretend? It’s unfortunate some of us come from certain part of the world where we hold onto false beliefs and myths about dating which in effect doesn’t help us at all.
I personally know of people who said yes on their first date and they are happily married after. And I know of people who play games and the man end up moving on and they end up fighting the new lady in the man’s life. We shouldn’t be hypocritical when it comes to relationships.
We are humans after all. We all need relationship as we walk along this path of life even in the attainment of our goals and objectives. Say yes, if you know you have to. You are the only one who can determine whether you love a man or not. Stick to your guts, go for what you want. You owe yourself happiness and you are the only one who can make yourself happy.
Chidiebere: My interest fades if she keeps playing hard to get
If you genuinely love the other person, there is no reason playing hard to get. Be plain and open as a woman. I will love you more and respect you greatly than placing unnecessary hurdles on my part in the name of playing hard to get. If you keep playing hard to get, my interest in you may fade.
Aisha: If you like him, what’s the use of playing hard to get?
It isn’t a difficult thing. When you like someone, let them know. If a guy walks up to and toasts you and you have admired him too for a while, what’s the use of playing hard to get? A mature guy who knows his onions will appreciate your openness and respect you for it. I think that hard to get thing is a little overrated. If I see you, like what I see, and the attraction is there, you don’t need to keep beating around the bush just to test whether I can play hard to get, my action will speak for itself.
Godwin: I find it difficult to chase a woman for long
I find it difficult to chase a woman for a long time. This is because I believe that a woman does not need a long time to be convinced about dating a man. This is why I advocate the route of friendship first. If you guys become friends first, it gives her time to make up her mind about you. If after that period of friendship, she still wants to do shakara, that’s alright, but I won’t spend valuable time to make a way where there is no road. I will simply move on.
Peace: Playing hard to get doesn’t make sense to me
Playing hard to get presupposes a knowing beforehand that you will accept him but you still decide to play some game. That doesn’t make sense to me. That’s time wasting as well as falling for social conditioning. However, the natural approach to entering into a relationship should be to study the other person a bit before making a decision and taking the step to date them. This studying involves time, but time that is not for playing games but for genuine observation and decision-making.
Ibukun: It excites me when he chases me
Men are cast as the ones who must do the chasing and women, the ones who will play hard to get – this is the script. Personally, I like the man to do the chasing, I find that exciting. Nevertheless, the art of courtship, wooing and dating is not written in stone. There must be flexibility as there are shy men out there who wouldn’t mind a lady asking them out. It all depends on the approach, it certainly doesn’t mean the lady should be appreciated less for her boldness.
Obineme: I can’t tolerate chasing someone who doesn’t care about me
My friends tell me that I give up too easily in chasing a girl, and my reason is simple. Why should I spend time convincing someone to like me, when she has not at least tried to convince me as well? I guess it’s a cultural thing. I am okay with a girl who plays a little hard to get because what she is doing in that process is weeding out my intentions. But what I’m not okay with is a girl who builds a garrison around her heart and expects me to journey through one thousand seas, find a big sledge hammer and come break through. I am not Tom cruise in a Mission Impossible movie.