The kind of men and women you should not marry
After careful considerations, I have come to the confusion, sorry conclusion, that men and women who are planning to get married should avoid these three basic categories of people when considering marriage.
As a Woman:
1) Do not Marry a man who does not have a House. Prioritise your potential suitors thus: outright ownership, Mortgage, rented.
2) Do not Marry a man who has a job, but you don’t know where he works- iga amukwa armed robbers or umu Ashawo.
3) Do not marry a man who is not doing well in his vocation and yet has enemies everywhere; he is not a serious person. Such men are also narcissists. They are so convinced of their own greatness that they don’t see their weaknesses.
4) Do not marry a man whose mother begged you to marry because his mother is also going to be your marriage counsellor, which may not be bad after all. But you are going to hear a lot of “My mom doesn’t do it that way.” Very soon you are going to hate him, him mama, and the “family name” too.
5) And finally, do not marry a man who tells you what to do without your input such as demanding that you “stay home and not work.” Staying home to raise the kids may be a good idea, but it must be your choice because, every form of abuse begins with control. Control freaks are evidently more likely to also become abusive.
As a man:
1) Do not marry a woman whose father expects his son in law (you) to help him train his other children. A girl whose father “agbaghi mbo” is likely to depend on you 100 percent.
2) Do not marry a woman who was badly “remained for you.” That is to say, whose last relationship still makes her bitter and angry.
3) Do not marry a woman who is a gossip and always seem to never mind her own business. Most girls who gossip are likely to also bring adulterous temptations to their man whereby girls share with their friends information on the weaknesses of their spouses which creates a window for her beautiful friends to target you and make you fall; and you don’t want that to happen. You do not need this kind of woman as a wife. A man needs someone that would build a home with him and this requires some focus on her own plans and her own life. Whenever you hear that a guy slept with her wife’s friends or girlfriend’s friends, the act of gossip will have played a crucial role.
4) Do not marry a woman who believes that men are superior to women. There is no easier way to let someone else bear your burden than to subtly recognise them as very powerful and stronger than you.
5) And finally, do not go ahead and marry a woman whom you could not bring to orgasm during courtship knowing that your future neighbour could be a very aggressive but understanding bachelor who ploughs without regard to taboo. If she is circumcised or her mother had used “nmiri oku biagbue everything” you must understand that the work ahead is going to be a tough one. If you can avoid it, please do.
I tell you these things today because I am convinced of them. No one is perfect and in spite of all carefulness, no one is immune to mistakes.
But there are things you can actually avoid. Marriage is good and it is good for everyone because no one ever made the decision not to get married entirely of their own independent choice; it is usually as a result of their personal experiences or the experiences of those close to them. And there are ample opportunities to see signs of what “should not be” except that we often ignore them. For example, if your girlfriend employs an ugly house help after you started dating her, it simply means that she does not trust you and marrying her won’t solve the trust issue because she is going to even employ a very ugly nanny because marry still will not make her to trust you.
Therefore, having read these things and noted them, let us watch and pray for more than one hour.
By Mike Ikem Umealor