The difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic one is as clear as day from night.
Every woman should know that there are a few glaring hints that a relationship isn’t good for her.
Aside overlooking some faults because she is in love with her partner, an abusive relationship on any level shouldn’t be tolerated by any woman.
But when it comes to figuring out whether a relationship is toxic, things can get a little murkier.
Below are 5 key things to look out for that will help you figure out whether you are in a healthy relationship and what to do if you think you aren’t.
What you emphasize about your partner in a healthy relationship: You mostly tell each other the things that delight you about the relationship, with a few complaints or requests to change something peppered in because that’s totally normal.
In a toxic relationship: You are more about voicing your frustrations with each other and your general status quo than talking about what either of you does right.
In a happy relationship, both partners acknowledge and convey what the other person does to please them, but in toxic ones, they only talk about what disappoints them, and they often communicate these issues in a critical, blaming way.
Are you both truly dependable?In a healthy relationship: When your partner says they will do something, you know they will follow through.
In a toxic relationship: You are never exactly sure whether they will stick to their promises or if it’s all lip service.
In healthy relationships, you have a foundation of trust, stability, and security. In toxic ones, you usually have to deal with a base level of anxiety because you never know if your partner will show up, either emotionally or physically.
How many little fights turn into huge blowouts
In a healthy relationship: You can agree to disagree about the fact that Breaking Bad is the best show ever.
In a toxic relationship: A minor difference of opinion often turns into a sprawling argument.
It can be hard for people to recognize that having different opinions doesn’t mean anyone’s right or wrong. This tendency for small issues to spiral out of control is also rooted in the fact that emotional bitterness is a hallmark of toxic relationships. There is a deep levels of resentment and criticism in toxic relationships. When combined, they can push people to blow tiny disagreements way out of proportion.
Whether you can each handle being on your own
In a healthy relationship: You regularly have movie dates with friends, and your partner has their own solo activities going on.
In a toxic relationship: You two are the human embodiment of glue and can’t stand being apart.
Codependency can seem flattering, like a sign that things are going so swimmingly you hate to be away from each other. In reality, always being together is probably based in some form of insecurity.
Codependency can happen because one person is afraid to be on their own, or as a form of control because one person always expects the other to be with them.
People in healthy relationships know that cultivating your own hobbies, friendships, and interests will actually make your bond better.
How comfortable you feel being open
In a healthy relationship: Both of you feel like you can discuss pretty much anything, even if it’s the fact that you ran into your ex or got hit on while out with friends.
In a toxic relationship: You find yourself hiding seemingly innocuous things from them, like that you were talking to a friend they are not a huge fan of.
When your partner overreacts to things that should be a no big deal, you can instinctively start to walk on eggshells around them in ways that, on their faces, just seem like you’re being considerate. It can be a subtle sign that you are afraid of upsetting your partner.