His ex is still in the picture

Is the ex still in the picture?
Some women still deal with ex girlfriends of their men and it’s not funny.
Below are some stories about some exes
My husband and I have been married for almost ten years. We have two children aged nine and seven. I recently found private Facebook messages between my husband and his ex-girlfriend.
The context of the messages is basically how they never got to say goodbye, they are still very much in love with each other, and all the ‘I love you’, ‘I wish I could hold you’ and just about everything you say to the person you are in love with. These messages sickened me. My heart dropped immediately and my hands started shaking. I could feel my heart breaking. I told him what I found and he got angry with me for snooping.
Then he apologized and said he was sorry and that it was over and had been for a while. He said he did love her but wasn’t in love with her. He was in love with me. I sort of believed him, wanted to believe him so bad, so I told him okay, I believe you and we can start re-building our trust. He later jokingly said I should stay off his computer. But they continued.
The next chance I got, I checked his private messages again and it was pretty much the same dialogue. They professed love for each other. They talked about songs that reminded them of each other. He also shared personal stories about our lives and children with her. I knew this woman was his ex-girlfriend and I was always uneasy about them still being friends and told him so. I confronted my husband again, and he was silent. He left the house. He later apologized for hurting me.
All these happened a month ago and he told me it’s hard to not talk with her but he won’t because he loves me the more. I don’t believe he’s not talking with her. He says they never took it to a physical level, but they would plan to meet from what I read in his messages. I don’t trust him anymore. My heart hurts so much. My friends say I am just beating myself up for nothing that since he is still married to me, she’s not important to him. I don’t agree with them. Why won’t he leave her alone then?
Men and women fall in love. While some nurture their love that it blossoms into something beautiful, others fall out of love and go ahead to date other people. But problem arises when the new date is constantly harassed by the presence of her new love interests’ ex.
While most men unknowingly encourage their exes, others are at a loss on what to do and how to effectively keep their past in their past. But how does a woman feel when her man’s ex is still in the picture? They say two is company, three is a crowd and these women who shared their experiences below, agree.
Rebecca: He allows his ex call me demeaning names
My husband is obviously still in love with his ex-girlfriend with whom he had a daughter. He allows her degrade me, call me names and he doesn’t do anything to defend me. All he does is dot on his daughter from her and has brain washed the child into thinking that I am a horrible person.
 He says he feels nothing for her and that he could have her back if he wanted her, but I don’t believe any of that especially considering she left him for her now husband. She would never take him back, but sometimes I actually wish she would so that both of them would be out of my life for good.
 I love my husband, but because of the stress from this marriage, I have suffered severe anxiety. All I want is the man I fell in love with, but all he wants is her. We have been married for two years now and are yet to have children.
Ndidi: I am depressed because he had sex with his ex
My husband dated this girl for three years before we got married. We have been married now for eight years and have three children. I caught my husband talking to his ex recently. I confronted him and he said she was the one still after him.
Some months later I caught him talking to her again and he said he had kept in touch with her through just to ask how she was faring. Apparently, she’s stuck in a bad marriage.
Two months ago, they started sending love notes back and forth again. They even had a sex romp in an expensive hotel room at the same time he was whining about not having enough money for me to go shopping for new clothes. He left his phone at home and that was how I found out. He turns to her whenever he’s stressed and that hurts.
I just want to forget the whole thing and move on but I can’t. I’m developing anxiety over this and I can’t control my emotions. I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic. I feel like I’m neglecting myself and my children because I feel depressed all the time, and my husband won’t stop relating with her.
 
Rita: His ex is the love of his life
I am living with a man who is the love of my life; I will never love anyone else as much as I love him. He says loves me too, but I just know that his ex girlfriend is the love of his life. He talks about her a lot, and he often trashes her name and says that he hates her. I think that he says he hates her because he is trying to convince himself and me that she no longer means anything to him, but a woman’s intuition is rarely wrong.
I even know when he is thinking about her. He suddenly drifts away from me, gets irritable and picks fights for no reason. He leaves the house after such fights and never tells me where he spends his time. Recently, someone called me that he was with her in a restaurant and when I called him, he switched off his phones. I had to go see things for myself. He was holding her hands and looking at her in a way he would never look at me.
I felt betrayed and so emotionally down that I called my mom. She told me not to leave my home for an ex, and that I should fight for my man if I love him the way I claim. I didn’t know what to do after that because I felt like she doesn’t understand me at all and was taking his side. I became bitter against him and my mom too. I am so upset and confused but my mom says she will never allow me back into her house if I leave my husband over his ex. I am now more confused than ever.

Kate

I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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