Five things I taught my son about dating and women
For many fathers, it can be confusing and even awkward talking to their sons about women, dating and sex. It can also be difficult to put aside their own challenges and difficulties in order to give their sons the best advice that they feel will set them up for the best chances at understanding women, dating, relationships and sex.
Mr. Dele Philips, a father of five said that his oldest son is about to move out and start living on his own. And it has been an emotional period for him because he still remembers the little boy he was, innocent and wide-eyed. Now he’s embarking on his own life journey with all its inevitable ups and downs.
According to him, his son may not be consciously aware that his normal hormonal surges are in overdrive and fuelling his blossoming desire for women and sex. But as a father, he knows how important it will be for him to develop healthy relationships with the women he will meet and date in the future. It will mean the difference between a life of turmoil, misunderstanding and loneliness or one filled with joy, comfort and acceptance.
Mr. Ogundele advised his son not to listen to jokes about how difficult women are because all women are not the same. I told him that he will hear jokes about women and how complicated they are, how they nag and how needy they are, or they don’t want sex after marriage. I warned him sternly not to listen to the jokes and not buy into them. He knows he has to take the time to get to know each woman individually and make his own assessments.
In addition to the above, he knows he should be a ladies friend first, get to know her and build friendship, not sex. Developing a friendship first will serve him well in marriage someday. The high-intensity emotions of love may burn bright initially, but the flame of friendship in relationships lasts for a long time.
I told him that his heart will break, and he should embrace that feeling. Odds are very good that one of his relationships will end with his heart feeling like it’s been split in two. At that time, he will have more questions than answers, more regret than jubilation. He knows he can cry the ugly tears no matter what anyone thinks about them, ask the painful questions, and just remember that things get better with time. ‘’
In dating a lady, he has to show her parents that she’s in good hands. This is because every girl he dates is someone else’s daughter. They have spent many years with her, while he’s probably only known her for a few months. So, he has to earn their trust, too. And he will do that by being true to his words, and treating her like their daughter, not just his girlfriend.
I taught him to develop other intimacies beyond the physical kind. The physical intimacy will want to take off like a rocket when he loves a woman, but he shouldn’t base the entirety of his relationship on it. He has to find ways to deepen emotional, spiritual, intellectual bonds. His relationship should be based on a firmer foundation than simply physical attraction.