Four things Nigerian mom taught teenage son about love

Teenage years are interesting times for mothers. No matter how tall and huge a boy grows, he will remain a baby in his mother’s eyes because of the bond mothers share with their sons. Every mother wants their son to grow up making responsible decisions, treat women with respect, and if mothers can create a perfect future, bring the right girl home to raise his own family.  #You were his only love as a baby but when he gets to a certain age, he begins to notice other females, then he starts dating and some years later he will be walking down the aisle with one.

Mothers are apprehensive about the kind of women their sons will bring home to marry. Many women tend to influence their son’s decisions negatively without thinking about the repercussions. They don’t allow their sons make their own decisions regarding their life partners because they didn’t teach them anything about love, sex and relationships with their women.

For Mrs. Blessing Bassey, she taught her 15-year-old-son four things about love because she wants him to grow up to have healthy and loving relationships with women. The first important thing she taught him was that as a man, it is okay for him to express emotion. As a child, whenever he injured himself, I allow him to cry, shed tears and feel vulnerable. I don’t do tough love stuff and tell him to suck it up because men don’t cry.

He’s human first before a man because telling him to suck it up instead of expressing emotions is the beginning of his aversion to connecting with his emotions. I raised my son to express his feelings and connect with them as it creates a significant amount of maturity as he gets older. When he starts to form relationships with women, he can treat her feelings with the same amount of respect. He will become comfortable accessing his feelings and he will learn to talk about them openly — a characteristic all women want from the men in their lives.

My son also knows that every woman wants a good guy. He wasn’t taught that girls want boy boys. No woman wants to build a life with a bad boy. I raised him to be a man who really listens, the guy who treats a woman with respect and love. By giving him this insight, he will grow up knowing all the basics of how to do his part in an adult-type relationship.

I know that teenage boys these days are after instant gratification and many of them think that the easiest way to get what they want from girls is by saying what they want to hear. So, I taught my son to only say what he means. He knows how to build a reputation as an honest man — especially with girls. Having a truthful reputation holds more power than many other characteristics. When he’s honest about what is going on for him without playing games, girls will feel they can trust him in their professional and personal lives. In all relationships, trust resides at their core.

Another thing I taught him about love is to never make assumptions. Mothers know that when teenage boys are curious about a girl, they might be more willing to ask everyone else but her. It’s my duty as a parent to inform my son that he should never make assumptions about a girl or just do what his buddies are doing.

He knows he has to create time to get to know his love interest and ask her what he truly wants to know about her. Not only will she respect him more, but he will also grow up understanding how to communicate with women better. If he can work on his communication skills at an early age, it will only benefit him all of his life and in all areas of his life because communication plays a pivotal role in all relationships. I am raising my son to be a man who creates good relationship with himself and his loved one.

Kate

I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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