10 instances being an independent, single girl in Nigeria is not easy

These are not the best of times for single ladies in Nigeria. They are constantly being reminded of their single status everywhere they turn.

From family members hounding them to get married to church programmes being organized on their behalf, the pressure is becoming unbearable for these single, independent ladies.

Many singles will relate with these instances below because they may have experienced three or more because of their single status.

Being an independent single girl in Naija means you must not argue with a man, they will remind you that it’s the cause of your single status till date.

Being an independent single girl in Naija means you are too proud to be submissive to a man, that is why you are making all the money just to rub shoulders with your man.

Being an independent single girl in Naija means you are not virtuous enough to seek out your marriage partner.

Being an independent single girl in Naija means you can’t talk when your mates are talking. Even the ones who just got married last week will remind you that they are no longer in your league, so you should respect them with your words.

Being an independent single girl in Naija means that you must not buy a car even if you have the money to do so. They will tell you that it will drive away potential suitors away from you. You need to keep jumping from bus to Keke marwa and okada just to prove you will be a good wife material.

Being an independent single girl in Naija means that you must not leave your parent’s house for your own apartment because it will send wrong signals to the men who might be interested in you.

Being an independent single girl in Naija means you must behave like a dunce before your mates of the opposite sex just to make them feel big and you will appear humble and a good wife material. It doesn’t matter if you are more intelligent and more smart than they are. Just act like a fool. You need a husband, remember?

Being an independent single girl in Naija means you must not take yourself out to public places. You will be turned back from some places because you don’t have a man by your side.

Being an independent single girl in Naija means you must not carry cute babies of your friends or family members in church or in public son that you will not miss the chance if being sought out by a man. They might think you are married and have children if you keep carrying babies up and down.

Being an independent single girl in Naija means you must not appear too knowledgeable or smart so that you won’t threaten the man who is testing you for marriage.

As an independent single girl in Nigeria, you basically don’t have to live your life because you must act according to the dictates of society just to land a man to marry.

Many single independent ladies in Nigeria cannot even eat and sleep in peace anymore. Whatever they do, they are reminded about their single status as if they have a disease.

Aside from being brilliant, hardworking and loving human beings, many people, men and women alike see these ladies as incomplete, unfulfilled and inconsequential because they are not married yet.

The worst pat of these pressures on these independent ladies to just settle down with any man they see come from their parents and family members. They are hounded daily of how meaningless their lives are without a man to call their own.

These unnecessary pressures have pushed many young ladies into dysfunctional relationships where they bend over backwards just to keep their men and save themselves further name calling from the society.

But is marriage is the ultimate thing in life?

Is marriage worth a woman’s life’s dreams and goals?

Must every woman get married?

What kind of men are these women getting married to in the first place?

What efforts are the men making to look up to marriage like the society is hounding ladies to do?

Are these men ready for marriage in every sense of the word?

Is marriage only important to women?

How are mothers of today raising their sons for the women that would marry them?

How can we stop putting pressures on independent ladies who are living their dreams about settling down below their standards?

 

 

 

Kate

I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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3 Responses

  1. queen says:

    This is so true. It’s like you don’t have a life as an independent single girl in Naija

  2. DAMILOLA says:

    I REALLY LOVE THIS. PRESSURE IS VERY BAD, FOR MARRIAGE

  3. You are so on point thank You for this beautiful write up. God bless.

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