5 ways to rid your relationship of jealousy
Nnenna is tired of her boyfriend’s uncontrollable jealousy whenever he sees her talking to a man. It doesn’t even matter if the person is her boss, colleague or relative.
For the four years they have been together, she can’t count how many times they have been truly happy without him throwing unnecessary jealousy fits almost all the time.
Whenever she threatens to quit the relationship, he promises to control his feelings, adjusts and things get fine only for a short while and then he unleashes his jealousy tantrums all over again.
Jealousy is not a new feeling in many relationships. But if not checked, it can destroy the beautiful thing a couple can have going in their lives.
Couples who have jealous partners should know that the reasons their partners exhibit such behavior include the fear of losing something they love, self-doubt, lack of confidence in their relationships with their partners, possessive feelings, the desire to monopolize the personal lives of their partners and the need interfere in all their affairs.
Get rid of your fears
If you dearly love your spouse but constantly live in fear that your relationship may end, are you really happy? Are you satisfied with this kind of relationship? I doubt it.
The fear of losing this relationship in the future makes you unhappy. But what you have in the present doesn’t make you happy either because you are always afraid and thinking about the future.
Strong attachments cause fear of loss, and this fear hinders you from enjoying the present moment. Not having a strong attachment isn’t the same as not loving. It simply means having a more peaceful attitude towards the fact that nothing lasts forever and being realistic; being ready for anything and also being able to enjoy what you have now.
Improve your relationship
Spend more time with your partner. Get to know their wants and needs. Ask them how they want to be loved and go out of your way to make them feel loved.
Show them care and trust. Use your mutual strengths to solve family problems. Talk about your difficulties. Make yourselves more attractive to each other. Introduce variety into your relationship.
Develop your relationship, and don’t stop there. Keep seeking new ways to pleasure one another. As you make efforts to please each other, you will develop less jealous feelings.
Control your wild imagination
Your husband or wife is being kept late at work and you are already envisaging a scenario where he or she’s having a good time with other men and women.
Don’t let your imagination run away with you. These fantasies deprive you of the chance to soberly evaluate the situation and effectively communicate with your partner even if you are having doubts about their fidelity.
You must calmly analyze the situation as it is in reality and not get carried away by your imaginings.
Stop living the life of your partner
A common reason for jealousy is one partner’s fixation on the other’s life. Sometimes this happens because one person in the relationship lacks their own interests or personal life, so all they can do is live the life of the other.
In order to avoid this, it’s important to establish variety in your life. Find your interests and passions. At the same time, let your partner live their own lives in addition to a family one. Leave them space to see their friends, colleagues and even members of the opposite sex.
Show your partner that you trust them, give them freedom, don’t try to study every inch of their life or squeeze it in a vice of control.
This will also help you to become less attached to your relationship since you will have something else to focus on.
Trust your partner
Trust is an indispensable condition of healthy, strong relationships, so think about whether you really have any reason not to trust your partner.
Trust your partner some more. Stop seeing deception in their every word and discard your endless suspicions. Make attempts to trust your other half and not suspect them of something bad for at least a month, however they act and whatever they do.
But it’s entirely possible that you will start to understand how ridiculous your fears are and see how belief in your partner transforms your relationship and makes you happier. And you will want to stay with this trust forever.