When jealousy won’t let love blossom
I have been married for six years. We have a great marriage except for one issue. He gets so jealous and controlling that he doesn’t even let me go to the market by myself. He gets aggravated if I go out without him, and pulls the silent treatment if I am too friendly with someone on the street or in the market.
He doesn’t trust me. I have become like a baby that he controls at will, and just to avoid problems, I let things slide. His biggest fear he tells me is that I will cheat on him with someone better than him and I don’t see why he feels that way. I have never had an affair nor misled him in any way. But I am fed up with his attitude. He is out of control.
It is natural for couples to be jealous. But when it becomes extreme jealousy, there is a problem. Men and women who are in relationships with partners who are extremely jealous live frustrating and exasperating lives.
These people are always walking on eggshells because they don’t know what action will trigger their partner’s jealousy fits. They feel their partner’s jealousy get in the way time and time again, jeopardizing their relationships. They are at crossroads on how to enjoy peace in their relationships when their partner seems to be controlled by jealousy all the time.
People with jealous partners tell their stories:
Omoyemi: I hardly go out to avoid his jealous fits
I have a current relationship with a man that I have loved for 3 years. There are so many problems in our relationship that it has gotten to the point that I don’t know what to do anymore. He won’t tell me where he’s going but he must always know where I am, who I am with and whenever we go out, he’s always accusing me of eyeing other guys.
He is so insecure that he blames me for his erratic actions. Whenever I speak to another man on the phone, the man automatically becomes my lover. I hardly go out with my friends anymore because he feels they introduce me to other men.
Ikechukwu: I smashed her laptop once in a jealous fit
I get so upset when my girlfriend posts pictures on social networks and guys comment and hit on her. It really upsets me. I begged her to stop but she tells me there is nothing wrong with posting her pictures on Facebook. I feel like she craves attention from other guys, but I know she loves me.
Once, I smashed her laptop because I saw her chats with a male friend. I had thought they were dating. She didn’t speak to me for months. I had to redeem myself. But as the days go by, it is increasingly difficult not to be possessive over her.
Chidinma: He stopped me from working because he was jealous of other men
I have been living with an insecure man for nine years now and life has been hell. When we were dating, he was a bit normal, but these days, he blows hot and cold because of jealousy. He stopped me from working because he says men will take advantage of me. He says he can’t bear other men looking at me or talking with me on the road. I used to make enough money before, but I am now broke. He doesn’t give me money, yet I can’t work to make my own money.
Adams: I feel humiliated when she calls me names
Six months into our relationship, my girlfriend looked through all my text messages while I was sleeping. She found an old one from my ex, telling me of her upcoming wedding. She got angry and said she didn’t have the right to invite me to his wedding. We had a big fight but later settled.
Months later,she went through all my emails and found a few from female friends, and she became angry again threatening to deal with me. I have an extremely suspicious girlfriend. I have explained everything to her but she calls me deceitful, a liar, and untrustworthy. I always feel humiliated whenever she gets angry in public and calls me names.