Nigerian women and the trap of comparison

Many Nigerian women have fallen into the trap of comparison at some point in their lives.

You know that feeling of carefully following the progress of another person’s life and beating yourself up for not being where they are.

You look at your mates and you suddenly wish you were like them because they are doing well compared to where you are and what you have achieved.

If you are not careful, you will destroy whatever is left of your life by constantly looking down on yourself and wishing to be like someone else.

If you keep comparing your life and accomplishments with that of your peers all the time, you will never have peace.

It’s okay to dream and hope for a better life and future, but it’s not in your best interest to keep running helter skelter because you feel others are doing better than you.

That mindset and behaviour doesn’t move you farther ahead in life. It doesn’t improve your situation and it certainly doesn’t give you peace.

Comparing where you are now with where others have been reduces your worth. It feeds your inadequacies. It feeds your shame. And it ultimately, keeps you stuck.

It takes away the focus from improving yourself to endlessly pursuing others because you are trying to be like them and meet up with where they are.

You are draining yourself.

Focus on yourself.

Focus on becoming better at what you do.

It doesn’t matter who has gone ahead of you.

It doesn’t also matter who has failed you and those who have denied you help.

What matters is that if you don’t give up, you will tell your own success story.

And bear in mind that as you work hard, your dawn will come.

You just have to resist the temptation to keep comparing yourself to others.

You will be at peace to be the best version of yourself possible.

Refuse to give in to the trap of comparison, it’s a thief of joy, peace and fulfillment.


I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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