10 warning signs your relationship is emotionally abusive

Emotional abuse is subtle but devastating. Emotional abusive relationships don’t make you feel good. There is nothing good about being in one. Abuse is not always physical, such as being hit or shoved. It can be being called degrading names and cursed constantly or being emotionally abused.

The effects of emotional abusive relationships are damaging to your self esteem. You may find yourself feeling confused about the relationship, off balance or like you are walking on eggshells all the time. You don’t know what will set off your partner and you are always on edge to avoid being lashed at. This is the kind of abuse that often sneaks up on you as you become more entrenched in the relationship.

Emotional abuse occurs when one person in the relationship tries to control information available to another person with the intent to manipulate that person’s sense of reality or their view of what is acceptable and not acceptable.

Such relationships contain strong emotionally manipulative content and threats designed to force the victim to comply with the abuser’s wishes. In the long run, it takes a severe toll on the self-esteem on the abused that they believe they deserve the treatment they are getting. The abused person also starts feeling helpless and possibly even hopeless.

Most mental abusers are good at convincing their victims that the abuse is their fault. They make it look like the victim is responsible for what is happening since they refuse to act in the way they want them to.

Such partners can claim to love you but hate the way you dress, act, talk or what you do. They subtly threaten that if their partners don’t do what they want they want them to do, their love will be taken away.

Do you wonder how to get out of emotionally abusive relationships? Here are 10 signs to watch out for if you are not sure your relationship is emotionally abusive.

  1. Your partner isolates you from family and friends.
  2. You are being humiliating or embarrassed
  3. Your partner withdraws affection when you don’t give in to their demands
  4. You are being constantly put-down
  5. Your partner ignores or excludes you from important decisions or moments
  6. Your partner uses you for mean jokes and is constantly making fun of you
  7. Your partner is having extramarital affairs
  8. Your partner uses sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice to communicate with you.
  9. Your partner exhibits unreasonable jealousy
  10. Your partner exhibits domination and control

It’s important to remember is that emotional abuse is not your fault. Abusers are expert manipulators with a knack for getting you to believe that the way you are being treated is your fault. These people know that everyone has insecurities, and they use those insecurities against you.

Many abusers have a way of convincing you that you do not deserve better treatment or they are treating you this way to ‘help’ you.

If your partner is emotionally abusive, they can act quite charming and nice in public so that others have a good impression of them, but they are wolves in private, which is also quite baffling.

If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to get out. Seek professional help if needed. Bear in mind that the first step in leaving the abuser is obtaining counselling just to rebuild your esteem so that you can leave.

It doesn’t matter if you love them, their actions show you that they don’t love and respect you. You have to love yourself enough to move on with your life. You deserve better.


I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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1 Response

  1. Akeem says:

    This is an eye opening piece.Well done

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