10 ways to make first time sex easy

First time sex is nerve-wracking no matter how long you have been in a relationship. The expectations for first time sex are high. Many men and women are faced with the inward fear that they won’t be able to meet up with their partner’s sexual expectations. But there are many tips to having first time sex that couples can explore.

Wherever you are in your relationship, whether you are about to get married or you just started dating, you can make your first time sex pleasurable, spicy and memorable with these 10 steps.

It is okay to be nervous

It’s totally normal to feel nervous and acknowledging that nervousness, whether it’s just to yourself or to your partner, can actually help. You can either say something quietly to yourself in your head to acknowledge the feelings, or say something to your partner if you feel like it. Either way, know that it’s not weird to have nerves about having sex for the first time with your partner.

Make it special

There’s nothing wrong with wanting your first time with someone to be meaningful, and working to make it so. If you are in a relationship that is already serious and romantic, it makes more sense to try to make your first time with each other special. You can have a date beforehand, put on some music that you know you both like, and light a candle or two for some romantic flair.

Put in the time

A woman will drop hints when she’s ready to have first-time sex with you. When she creates total privacy for the both of you, take the hint. But you must be ready to wait. If you keep pestering her for sex after meeting her once, you are setting yourself up for failure. She will get the message that you are only into her for the sex. So, wait the good wait of first time sex and you won’t remain the same.

Think of sexual safety

There’s no such thing as totally safe sex, but you sure can be safer. Make sure he’s wearing a condom and talk about your respective sexual histories. It’s up to you to take a proactive interest in your sexual health.

High expectations can hurt

Sex generally improves as you get to know someone and become more comfortable with each other’s bodies. So don’t feel pressured to make it the best night ever, because this is just the first of many. Forget about

Enjoy foreplay

Embrace all the stuff that leads up to intercourse such as kissing, touching, and oral sex. They are all part of the sexual experience; it’s not just about penetration. A great foreplay sets the tone for a great sex.

Be aroused before sex

Not only do you want to be genuinely turned on, you want to be sufficiently lubricated. Woman, if you are too dry, he will have trouble entering you. You will feel discomfort, and the friction can cause the condom to rip. So, keep water-based lube on hand just in case.

Speak up about what you feel

Let your man or woman know what feels good, and what doesn’t. Guys crave feedback. So don’t be shy about clueing him in. Ladies also want to know how you love them doing things to your body, so guys, talk to her.

Don’t assume he or she is an expert

Your guy may be getting a lot of his information about sex from porn and the tall tales of his friends. Your woman may be getting her game on from what her friends told her.

Even if he is experienced, every sexual encounter is unique. He’s just as worried about pleasing you as you are about getting him off. You both should do what works best for your time together and not based on other people’s experience.

Orgasm may or may not happen

Of course, it’s great if you have orgasm. But, most women don’t climax the first few times with a new guy. Orgasms come with a sense of comfort and specific knowledge of each other’s bodies, and that takes time.

Don’t fake orgasms. If you do, you will only be cheating yourself. Letting him know you came close and want to get there with him will keep him motivated. He will strive to make your legs quake with delight next time. Be honest with your partner.




I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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