7 things you shouldn’t say to a woman who just had a miscarriage
A woman who just suffered a miscarriage is in pains. She’s emotionally and psychologically shattered. She needs people around her to offer comfort and support through her journey of grief.
According to statistics, approximately 10 to 15 percent of known pregnancies end in loss before the 13th week. This is not a good place to be in but many women are made to feel they shouldn’t talk about it or that it’s no big deal. But in reality, grieving and seeking support are very important aspects of the process of grieving a miscarriage.
If you know someone who has had a miscarriage and you want to offer words of comfort, you should avoid using the 7 phrases below.
Don’t tell her it wasn’t a real baby. The moment a woman learns she’s pregnant, she has started bonding with her unborn baby. It doesn’t matter if she hasn’t seen this baby, they are real to her.
Don’t tell a woman who just had a miscarriage that she lost her baby because it wasn’t meant to be. That is cruel. It can make the woman think she has done something wrong or not fit to be a parent. Choose your words wisely.
Don’t tell a woman who just suffered a miscarriage that at least she wasn’t further along and it was better for to lose the baby when she did. The physical and emotional pain of losing a pregnancy is real, even in the very early stages.
Don’t tell a woman who just had a miscarriage that at least she can still get pregnant. You are making her pain look small and it’s unfair. Many women are struggling with fertility challenges and you should be considerate of their feelings.
Don’t tell a woman who just had a miscarriage that this happens to everyone and it’s not a big deal. This phrase is heartbreaking for women trying to make sense of their loss. Miscarriage is certainly common, but that doesn’t negate the need for support, compassion, and grieving that comes with the loss.
Don’t tell a woman who had a miscarriage that she will be fine in a few days. Grieving period varies from woman to woman. The physical side effects can last several weeks, and she may need even longer to work through the emotional aspects of loss.
Don’t tell a woman who suffered a miscarriage to be grateful for what she has. This phrase is often said to women who have older children and are grieving their miscarriage. It is wrong. No matter the number of children a woman has, don’t tell her to stop grieving her miscarriage.