Why long term courtship is not good for women

Courtship is an important phase in relationships.

It is a period for a man and woman to get to know one another for a period of time.

It’s a period that precedes marriage where both of them make use of the opportunity to figure out if it’s going to work between them or not.

Since marriage is not a joke, this period is crucial and not a time for playing around.

So, it is not the time to have uncontrolled sex.

It is not the time for men to sample women to see if they can give them unforgettable sex when they get married.

It is also not the time for women to be foolish enough to hold on to men who don’t want them around anymore because they are afraid of starting afresh.

Sometimes, we hear of courtships that last for years and at the end, there was no marriage.

This situation is one of the most heartbreaking things a woman can endure.

That is why I am of the opinion that long term courtship is not good for women.

No matter how you look at it, it is women who lose in such scenarios.

This is not to say I support men and women who jump into marriages with people they don’t know, and can’t attest of their character.

It takes time to know someone you are in relationship with, how they react to issues and how they treat others.

So, courtship is the perfect opportunity to get to know the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

The standard period for courtship should not be less than a year and not more than two years.

Long term courtship is not good for women because some men just use marriage promise to get ladies into bed, drain their pockets and run away to go look for other victims. They are not ready to settle down. I don’t know why ladies are still falling for ‘I want to marry you’ gimmicks that these men use.

Women, avoid long term courtship

Another reason women should stay away from long term courtship is that Men know what they want and go for it. They don’t need to be convinced about what they want or decide to go for. They don’t use emotions to complicate issues. A man knows if he wants to marry you after a few meetings or if he just wants to use you to quench his sexual desires. Women should stop allowing their emotions cloud their sense of reasoning.

Ladies should not tie themselves down with long term courtship is because some men are just natural time wasters. These ones just don’t have plans for their lives and they keep stringing you along for as long as they can. If you allow them, they will turn you into an old maid for nothing.

After wasting your time for years, they suddenly remember that your breasts are not perky enough and your hips are not wide enough to carry and have children. They also remember that your sexual performance is below average and you can’t keep them faithful. You hear all kinds of excuses just to dump you and move on.

When I see ladies who give wife benefits to men all in the name of courtship, I laugh. When you give a man everything a wife is supposed to give him before he marries you, why will he make efforts to marry you properly? He’s already enjoying the perks, so there’s no need to make it formal. Young ladies, love your man but don’t leave your brain behind.

Girls, courtship is not the time to play house and start chasing women away from him like you are his wife. You can’t be wasting your time, emotions, money, body on a man who is not serious about getting married. If you like move in with him, feed him, clothe him, cook, clean and wash his clothes, if he wants to dump you, he will do so without blinking. It won’t matter if you have spent ten years with him.

A decade of courtship doesn’t guaranty that you will have a successful marriage. If after two years, the man is not making efforts to wife you, take a long walk and don’t look back. You need to look out for your interests. You shouldn’t allow any man take you for a ride with unfulfilled promise of marriage. Save yourself the trouble on time so that you won’t gnash your teeth in regrets later.

A long courtship going nowhere strips a woman of her dignity and self-esteem. Such women keep hoping that time will persuade these men to do the right thing while they keep chasing away other eligible males. Some of these women discourage the real Mr. Right while holding on to men who are just stringing them along.

If you are courting, ask your man now when you both are getting married and if you are not convinced with his answer, move on. If he’s not serious about marrying you, it is time to re-evaluate your presence in his life. Cut your losses and take a walk rather than allow him waste productive years of your life when other responsible men are waiting to love you.

Dear lady, don’t be afraid to let that time waster go. Stop all this talk about ‘where do I start from and how will people look at me? Stop wasting your own time.


Woman. Journalist. Writer. Blogger. Non Conformist. Rebel. Daring. Creative. Amazing. Unstoppable.

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1 Response

  1. peace says:

    Exactly!!! You hear all sorts of excuses when they have finished using the person. I actually heard one guy tell the lady that she is older than the girl his elder brother wants to marry that is why he can’t marry her. What an excuse?

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