Parents, what are you teaching your sons about rape?
Sex without consent is rape. Even if a girl allows you to kiss and fondle her and says no to penetration, if you go ahead with it, you are a rapist.
If you have sex with a woman who said no fir reasons best known to her, you have raped her.
Let’s stop blaming rape victims while we allow rapists roam free to commit more crimes.
If you don’t have the consent of your wife to have sex and you do it anyway, you have raped her.
If you don’t have the consent of your girlfriend to penetrate her and you go ahead because she allowed you in the past, you are a rapist.
Guys, consent is very important before, during and after sex. Don’t claim you are a car without brakes and can’t stop whenever she says no. That’s a lie.
This is where self control is important. Stop forcing women to have sex against their will. Stop shaming them when they come out to say you raped them.
If they didn’t give you consent to have sex with them, it is rape.
Parents, it is no longer enough to just talk to girls not to be raped, teach boys to understand that they need a woman’s consent for their own good.
Parents, teach your boys that no means no and not yes or maybe. Let them hear the girl clearly give her consent before they proceed.
Parents, make boys understand it’s no longer enough to take implied consent as consent. They have to always be sure it’s consensual.
Stop telling them that boys will be boys, that’s crap. Boys need to learn self control and understand that a woman can change her mind regarding sexual intercourse at any time and they need her consent to proceed further.
Parents, don’t make it look like once a guy is started he cant stop himself. It is not true. And yes a girl may agree to being kissed, she may even allow you touch her but if she says no, I don’t want sex then you better take her no as no. It doesn’t matter if she is your girlfriend or your wife. It’s her body. She decides what happens in her body.
Parents, teach your boys that consent can be withdrawn at any time. She may have agreed at first and mid way she says stop. You better stop. Anything after no and stop is rape.
Let’s teach boys these things. Parents should not only protect girls but also need to protect boys from destroying their lives when a case of rape hangs around their heads.
There is a stigma that comes with being an alleged rapist. It has cost a lot of people their career, their livelihood and some things they hold dear. Don’t think that doesn’t happen in Nigeria, it does and it will only get worse for rapists.
Let’s stop acting like its only girls that have something to lose. Boys have a lot to lose if they land in court accused of rape.
Parents have always focused on girls telling them what to do and where not to go. They need to pay attention to boys now before things get worse.
Parents, drum it into your sons’ ears that sex without consent is rape. Tell them they need a girl’s consent before sex can happen.
Teach them that self control is better than being in jail or being called a rapist. A good name is better than riches.