Prodigal husbands don’t deserve second chance

Many prodigal husbands race back home to the wives they abandoned because they know that these women will take them back.

When Mr. Patrick abandoned Tina, his wife of over 12 years, people told her not to make a big deal out of it. They all chorused that he must be under the influence of a potent charm.

Feeling hurt and humiliated, Tina was advised by family members and friends alike to continue praying for him to be free from every unholy hold.

They assured her that he would come back to his senses soon and they will all live happily ever after. They didn’t tell her how she would take care of their four children on her own when she was not a widow.

They didn’t even scold Patrick for putting his family through such stress. They kept telling her to pray harder. Some suggested that she add dry fasting to the mix so that the charm blinding her husband’s eyes will lose effect immediately.

She listened to these people. She prayed for years until he came back to her after 15 years looking tired and broke. Like a Nigerian virtuous wife, she took him back. She even went to church for thanksgiving. Sighs.

I want to understand why women take back prodigal husbands. What purpose does his coming back to you depleted of vitality and money serve? A man wakes up and abandons you and your children for years and you stay put waiting for him to return.

Any way, I don’t blame men who do this. I don’t blame men who take off with their lovers while subjecting their wives and children to untold hardship. I don’t blame them at all. I blame the women who instead of moving on with their lives continue waiting for these selfish husbands to return.

Many of these men who abandon their families do this because they know that their women will be waiting and praying for them to return. They know that these women will be going from one church to another fasting and praying for them while they are enjoying themselves in foreign holes.

They know that whenever they are done draining themselves of bodily fluids and money, they have nurses, (sorry, wives) waiting for them back home. They know that these waiting wives will care for them when the rod can no longer rise even at the slightest touch.

They don’t waste time racing back home to the same wives they abandoned for fresh blood and tighter oil rigs. They saunter back home to the waiting but tired arms of their abandoned wives who now take charge of nursing them in old age. Some women just love to suffer.

These women who have suffered to care for their children when their husbands were enjoying themselves now continue suffering again caring for these prodigal husbands who have wasted their productive years and energy on different women. What kind of life is that?

Prodigal Husbands don’t deserve second chance

Nigerian women won’t cease to amaze me with their eagerness to suffer unnecessarily over men who don’t care about them. It’s like these women pride themselves in enduring pains and emotional torture from men who won’t think twice about throwing them under the bus.

Women, stop taking back prodigal husbands. They should remain where they are. Let these men pay for the consequences of their actions. Let the women they left you for take care of them in their old age.

You don’t have any business suffering over a man who abandoned you in his prime. Stop babysitting prodigal husbands. Let their lovers do that. If they enjoy good times with him, they should also endure the bad times. You are not a dumping ground. You didn’t come to this world to suffer for an irresponsible man.

These men don’t have the right to disrupt the lives of the women who married them whenever they feel like it. It’s sad that people indirectly encourage bad behaviour in Nigerian men. A man abandons his wife and children for years, doesn’t care how they feed, wastes his money on side chicks and returns like nothing happened and people will start preaching to his wife to take him back.

That is when you will see family members who didn’t have the boldness to call their son to order when he was misbehaving start quoting scriptures about forgiveness. You people are jokers. Why didn’t you preach this message to the man who didn’t think twice about abandoning his family?

And please don’t start with the he was under the influence of a charm excuse. That’s a big lie. That lie is used to get women to take back irresponsible husbands. There’s no charm anywhere affecting men who abandon their families. These men are just selfish and irresponsible.

You can’t be minding your wife and children and someone will just come and charm you. You must have stepped out for the charm to take effect. You must have tried to chop and clean mouth before you are trapped by your side dish.

How come these charms that trap men for years don’t affect women too? Are these charms gender selective or what? Why do family members and religious leaders continue promoting irresponsibility in Nigerian men? For how long will women continue to suffer at the hands of these kinds of men and for how long will we keep making excuses for these men?

One day, I heard a story about a woman who came out to testify during a church programme that her husband who abandoned her and their children for 19 years came back home. The funny thing was that church people started clapping and cheering after listening to her. They started thanking God that her prodigal husband came back home.

I was angry after listening to that story. How can someone you call your husband abandon you and your children for 19 years and you were stuck in one place waiting for him to come back? If you do the same thing, will your husband take you back? Why should you put your life on hold for a man who is having the time of his life with another woman?

Nigerian churches should stop encouraging irresponsibility and promiscuity in men. They should stop cajoling women to take back prodigal husbands. They should stop blackmailing these women with the scriptures. They should stop preaching forgive and forget to these women who have suffered to raise their children like widows.

Prodigal husbands should remain with their lovers for life. If another woman enjoyed his youthfulness physically, financially, sexually and emotionally, she should also care for him when he’s worn out.

Kate

I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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