Someone told me “maybe it was your fault that you were raped”

Someone said to me sometime ago, maybe it was your fault that you got raped.

You are too stubborn and heady. You should have been more receptive, maybe it wouldn’t have gotten to the point where he’d have raped you.

Words failed me, I tried to speak, but each time I was left stuttering as tears ran down my eyes.

I blamed myself everyday for what happened. I have lived with the pain forever and it made me feel less than perfect, loosing confidence in myself and always believing that I was worthless.

I exuded this happy, carefree, go easy person on the outside but on the inside I was a complicated coil of different shattering unwanted emotions.

I always felt I was a second class and try as hard as I could, I wasn’t ever able to shake the feeling off.

I have kept this secret closely guarded for a very long time, and for good reasons. The one person I decided to trust with my story, outrightly passed the blame to me.

I am telling this because, I have decided, I am not going to live with this pain anymore. It wasn’t my fault I got raped, it’s not any woman’s fault if she gets raped.

I am letting go today. Leaving all hurts behind me.

For everyone that hurt me, for everyone that went out off their way to do me harm, for everyone that shut me out when I needed them the most, for friends turned foe, for everyone I trusted that broke my heart, I just want to say THANK YOU!

I am letting go and forgiving you today, not for you, but for me and for my daughter.
For my peace of mind, for my happiness and for a better tomorrow.

It would be a new year in a little while and I am using this opportunity to drop every burden that held me hostage.

Thank you for sharing my life, whether for good or for bad. Let love reign, let peace stay, let happiness be our watchword.

Have a new beginning and a happy new year in advance.
P.S. I forgive you Okeydd for what you did to me. Let peace find you.”

This post was shared by a Facebook friend and it’s heartbreaking. May her healing be permanent.

It is not the fault of a rape victim when she’s sexually assaulted.

You don’t fault victims, you help them heal.

Stop adding to the pains of rape victims by telling them it’s their fault that they got raped.

Kate

I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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