Ways to rekindle marital love on Valentine’s Day

It’s Valentine’s Day in a few days. It is a day set aside for lovers and the celebration of love. It is a day that you finally know whether you are the main boo, the side boo or the oloribu.

To the lovers and couples who have plans for that day, high five for you all. I know some couples won’t allow lent or Champions league match rob them of the pleasure that Valentine’s day promises to deliver.

But while lovers and couples who still love each other are getting ready to show their loved ones how much they love them, there are those whose love lives are dead, almost dead or non-existent.

For couples who have been married for over a decade, their flame of love may be burning out. You may be merely coexisting with your spouse because of the children. You may no longer love your spouse because of past hurts. Just know that you are not alone. Many marriages are on the precipice.

But you can turn things around on Valentine’s Day. You can decide to fan the flame of your love for your spouse on that day. You can decide to communicate honestly with your spouse on that day so that you both can confront the challenges your marriage is facing together. You can decide to work towards building a better relationship by putting in more efforts to make your spouse feel loved.

For couples who don’t know where their relationship is headed, you may need to foster emotional intimacy first between you and your spouse. A good sexual relationship is built on emotional intimacy and closeness.

In other words, if you are hoping to improve your physical relationship, you need to first work on your emotional connection. This is not the time to start quoting the Bible to your wife especially if you are not a model husband. Focus on meeting your partner’s needs and communicating your own needs in a loving way.

Couples who want to rekindle their passion and love need to turn towards each other. Practicing emotional attunement can help you stay connected even when you disagree. This means turning toward one another by showing empathy, instead of being defensive.

Another important thing couples seeking to rekindle love in their marriages should do is fan the flame of sexual chemistry. During the early phase of marriage, many couples are walking on the moon due to the excitement of falling in love.

Unfortunately, this blissful state doesn’t last forever. Scientists have discovered that oxytocin (a bonding hormone) released during the initial stage of infatuation causes couples to feel euphoric and turned on by physical touch.

Holding hands, hugs, and tender touch are great ways to affirm your love for your partner. Physical affection sets the stage for sexual touch that is focused on pleasure. Couples should set a goal of doubling the length of time they kiss, hug, and use sensual touch if they want to improve their marriages.

Men, stop forming Emperor Nero with your wife, with your face like akpu slammed on the wall whenever you get home. Smile at your wife. Ask about her day. Listen to her gist. Be interested in her issues. Hold her hands. Hug her some more. Kiss her passionately. She’s your wife. Don’t be a stature at home; you are destroying your marriage.

Lovers celebrating Valentine’s Day

Dear holy married Nigerian women, stop binding your sexual urges. Stop binding those hot rushes between your legs; you are not taking them to heaven.

There’s nothing dirty about feeling horny. Just grab your husband and commune with him sexually. Stop praying for your sexual urges to die like the enemies you have been killing since year 2000 with dangerous prayers.

Women, enjoy sex with your husband. It is not a sin and you won’t go to hell fire. Enjoy orgasm now. There is no orgasm in the grave where you are headed. Sex is not for procreation alone, stop deceiving yourselves. Sex is not dirty. Good sex is sweet and orgasms are heavenly.

Another thing you can do to rekindle love in your marriage is to change your pattern of initiating sex. Maybe you are denying your partner or coming on too strong. Avoid criticizing each other and stop the “blame game.” Enjoy each other’s body. Sexual communion brings you closer to your spouse.

Dear married people, hold hands more often. Husbands, stop treating your wives like old women because you have been married for years. If you know all those things you were doing before you got married that made her go crazy for you, start doing them all over again.

Hold her hands. Hold her waist. Tickle her sides. Fondle her breasts gently. Tap her buttocks playfully. You will not die if you do these things Nigerian husbands. It won’t make your wives start disrespecting you either. What woman doesn’t love a man who plays and touches her?

If you want to your marriage to become heaven on earth again, separate sexual intimacy from routine. The daily hustle to take care of the family can rob you and your spouse of intimacy which will in turn affect your relationship.

Plan intimacy time and avoid talking about relationship problems and household chores in the bedroom. Sexual arousal plummets when you are distracted and stressed.

Carve out time to spend with your partner. Great marriages don’t happen by chance. You have to work together to make your marriage blissful. Try a variety of activities that bring you both pleasure. Have fun courting and practice flirting as a way to ignite sexual desire and intimacy.

Make sex a priority. Set the mood for intimacy before TV or work dulls your passion. Enjoying your favorite music and wine can set the stage for great sex. The good news is that allowing your partner to influence you can reignite the spark you once enjoyed in your marriage.

Couples who wish to stay lovers for life should always remember that friendship is the glue that holds a marriage together. Don’t stop being your spouse’s friend. Be their backbone and support. That is how you build a strong relationship.

Couples who know each other intimately and are well versed in each other’s likes, dislikes, personality quirks, hopes, and dreams are couples who make it through life’s many challenges and come out stronger in love.

Take advantage of the upcoming Valentine’s Day to set things right in your marriage. Your spouse would be grateful you did. Enjoy a Valentine’s Day filled with love, sex, laughter and orgasms. Cheers to all round sweetness on Valentine’s Day for lovers and married couples alike.



I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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