Why do many Nigerian women live in fear?
Why do many Nigerian women live in fear all their lives? Why do these women hold themselves down with the shackles of fear unleashed on them by societal expectations?
You live in fear that you are getting old and no man is asking you to marry him, produce children after his kind and live happily ever after. What is your life’s purpose?
You fear you are not beautiful enough, tall enough, can’t cook enough, can’t wash like Nkechi your cousin and you fear you won’t have a man to call your own.
You get married and you start living in fear of not getting pregnant and giving your husband ten sons in three years. You become afraid that you might be sent parking.
Then comes the fear of losing your husband to side chicks or home breakers as many Nigerian women call them. This fear drives you to do unimaginable things just to keep your husband.
You refuse to call your husband to order for treating you badly and disrespecting you. You blame outsiders for your husband’s irresponsibility and refuse to hold him accountable for his actions.
Many women love in fear of being called stubborn, proud and ambitious. That’s why they hide their cars from prospective husband materials because they don’t want the men to feel threatened by their success.
Other women fear that they may not be accepted by the society when they truly say they don’t want to get married or have children and want to devote their lives to their passion and dreams.
At the root of all these fears is societal conditioning and expectations. Women are expected to live in a certain way, act in certain ways, and do certain things.
Women are expected to live for men, please them love them, pet them, cook for them, wash their clothes, clean their messes, cleaning up after them but they don’t have the right to live their own lives
As pathetic as this sounds, it’s the reality of many women. They want to be loved by society. They want to be accepted by society. They don’t want to ruffle the feathers of this patriarchal society.
This why they would do anything to please society including lying to themselves and displeasing their inner self. This is why they live in fear at every stage of their lives.
If you continue to live in fear because you want to be society’s good girl, when do you get to live for yourself? When do you get to be you? When will you dance to the music of your soul?