10 men Nigerian single mothers should avoid

In Nigeria, many single mothers have become endangered species when it comes to love, dating and relationships. Some men rush single mothers not because they love them but because of what they can get from them. These men deceitfully warm their way into these women’s lives, tell them all the sweet things they want to hear, pretend to be respectful just to gain their trust and then turn them into money making machines.

Recently, a young lady revealed how one man has been dating different single mothers just for money. He is a single father who uses his daughter to get money from his unsuspecting victims. He even promised some of these women marriage.

Another single father latched onto a single mum of three abroad and started milking her dry financially. He would call her for hours, tell her how much she means to him and how his ex wife was the devil’s incarnate. He tells her she is the best thing that happened to him after sliced bread.

This single mum believed him. She would come to Nigeria and spend time with him. They would go out together, plan their future together and discuss where and when they would get married. But what this woman didn’t know was that he was dating three other single moms in her circle of friends too. He was making money off these women by promising them marriage. He only wanted money to keep body and soul together and to take care of his two children. He didn’t love any of them.

Single mothers should stop allowing men toy with their emotions because they crave companionship. They should stop allowing these selfish money hunters take advantage of their hearts and bodies. Any man who is only interested in your money doesn’t love you.

10 types of men Nigerian single mothers should avoid

As a single mom, you should know that dating isn’t just about you, it’s about your child or children. Whether each man you date knows it or not, you should and try find out his motive before you allow yourself be carried away by sweet words and fake affection.

So while dating should be fun, exciting and a break from the tough parts of single motherhood, there are some men you shouldn’t date no matter how lonely and sex starved you are.

You need to respect yourself enough not to let your guard down. Single mothers who don’t want to get hurt shouldn’t waste their time with some kinds of men because these men bring nothing but pains, tears and heartaches.

A single mum shouldn’t waste her time with a sugar daddy. This is the guy that tells you about his huge income, designer suits and finds a way to ease the topic of money into every conversation. Most guys who love to flash a big wad of cash and talk non-stop about their jobs reveal their life priorities.

It’s all about things for him. In other words, he’s not looking to settle down or meet your child any time soon. He’s insecure and desperately needs to demonstrate control. If he doesn’t care about your feelings, dreams and aspirations didn’t compliment your dress or ask about your day, he’s not the one.

Texting is an easy way to communicate a quick hello or an “I’m running late,” but face it, dating as a single mom is different than dating as a single woman. You likely can’t drop everything for a date, or sleepover, so this means you really need to keep the communication flowing to compensate for the lack of face time. If he’s not down to chat for twenty-minutes on the phone or Skype after your baby is asleep, he’s not dating material for you. Stop wasting your time.

A deadbeat dad is not someone a single mother should date. You may know how crazy it can be to coordinate with your ex when it comes to visitation and finances. So you might be tempted to let it slide if a guy doesn’t see his children often because his ex is mean  or he wasn’t ready to be a dad, but don’t make that mistake.

Any man who is not present in his children’s life won’t be a good companion for you. The blame game antics are lame cover-ups for his irresponsibility. His choice to abandon his children emotionally or financially should be an instant deal breaker for you. You don’t want his baggage in your life.

While single moms have every right to let their hair down and have a good time, they shouldn’t date party animals. Having a hangover and caring for a child don’t mix. If your man thinks the ideal date is all-night clubbing with different drinks, he’s not going to be up for caring for your child when you truly need him.

10 types of men Nigerian single mothers should avoid

As a single mom, you may like escaping your world to hang out in his apartment. But if he’s constantly refusing to come to visit you, that’s a sign something’s not quite right. If making the effort to get together with you on your turf doesn’t interest him, then he’s just not that into you and is likely seeing other women.

If your one-date-wonder wants to meet your child immediately, this may be his awkward way of letting you know that he’s fine with your single mom status. But don’t feel pressure to force this meeting. Make it clear it’s 100 percent your call when or if your child will meet him. If he has a problem with that, cut him loose!

When you go out on a date, you don’t want to deal with someone who’s constantly making lame jokes with the waitress, or someone who can’t take his eyes off the pretty woman at the bar. He’s letting you know, loud and clear, that you are barely on his radar and that he’s keeping his options open when it comes to women.

Single mothers should leave men with unending issues and problems alone. These ones are always depressed but won’t do anything to help themselves. They always need money, attention and pity. They are victims of everybody’s wickedness but won’t change things they don’t like about their lives.

The most important reason not to date someone with serious issues is that you won’t want him around your child. The other reason is that his problem will get in the way of his relationship with you. You can’t fix him, so, wish him well and walk away with your sanity still intact.

You need to stay away from mama’s boy as a single mom. You don’t need the unnecessary competition with his mother. If there’s no good reason for him to be attached to Mom’s apron strings, you should probably rethink the relationship because you are not his main squeeze. His mom is.

As a single mom, stay away from your neighbor even if he’s hot, single, nice to your child and helped you with an emergency once. It’s tempting and seemingly easy to get it on with the guy next door but don’t do it if you are not serious about him.

If it ends badly, he will still be your neighbor, which means he will still be in your life and that of your child. Your child may not understand what is going on or why it is suddenly weird for him or her to play with the neighbor or why you hide when you see his new girlfriend coming to visit him.

Kate

I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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