10 rescue plans for marriage problems

Couples should know that marriage problems need fixing, not ignoring. If you are having issues with your spouse, it is not the time to ignore each other and expect the problems you are facing to magically fix themselves.

If the problems are not life threatening such as domestic violence or abuse of any kind, couples can work on their challenges and come out holding each other’s hands in love.

I am not an advocate for praying for violent and abusive spouses. If you are in a violent marriage, run away with your life intact. Leave to live. Marriage is for the living not for the dead. Be wise.

Marriage is hard work. It is not a partnership that is all rosy. Sometimes, you feel so in love with your spouse that you want to cuddle him or her from morning till night. At other times, you just can’t stand each other.

Many good marriages slip into crisis because couples forget how much work it takes to keep relationships healthy and thriving. It’s just like when you stop taking care of the house you are living in. It will no longer look beautiful.

Men, think back to when you first started to pursue your wife. It required commitment, hard work, and imagination. If winning her required that back then, why does it surprise you when neglect creates relationship problems after you walk down the aisle? She wouldn’t have married you if you took her for granted. Why risk everything now?

Women, think about how much effort you put into making yourselves look beautiful and irresistible to your man. Remember how you made him a priority and made him feel like the only man in the world. Why do you now take him for granted or tear him down with hurtful and negative words?

If you are having marital problems, take steps to settle them before this year runs out. Don’t go into the New Year with anger, bitterness, grudges and unforgiveness. In this season of love and good cheer, talk to your spouse about what is bothering you and settle things.

*Choose to love your spouse. Love may have come easy when it was brand new. Love is as much a choice as it is an emotion. Choice is an act of maturity and it takes consistent efforts to love the one you married. So, love your spouse and treat them right.

*Cut out negative talks from your relationship. They do more harm than good. No matter how angry you are with your spouse of how much you feel they have wronged you, refrain from throwing negative and hurtful words at your spouse. That is a marriage killer. You may apologize later for those hurtful words but the effects remain in the mind of your spouse.

*Do away with negative words and attitude as they are not helpful to you and your spouse. It will only taint your marriage. That means you and your spouse should make conscious efforts to avoid criticism, complaints, blame, accusations, anger, sarcasm, mean words, and snide remarks.

*Learn how to express your concerns well. Avoid the blame and accusatory style when confronting your spouse about your concerns. Men, stop commanding your wives like you are talking to slaves. If you need something from your wife, ask politely. No woman responds harshly to politeness.

*You should learn how make decisions together with your spouse to avoid problems. You don’t do something and then tell your spouse later. That’s disrespectful. You discuss issues with your spouse and when you both have agreed on what to do, you execute your decision. That’s how an ideal marriage should be.

*You should stop insisting on getting your way all the time. Instead, when you have differences, gently express your underlying concerns to your spouse, listen calmly to understand your partner’s concerns, and then create a solution that works well for both of you and addresses your concerns.

*Affairs, addictions, and excessive anger ruin marriages.  They are out-of-bounds in a healthy marriage. Fix the habit or leave that toxic union. I won’t advice any woman to pray for a cheating man or one with addictions and anger issues to change. The person needs to go and work on himself first.

*Increase the positive energy you give your spouse. Smile more. Touch more. Hug more. Have more sex. Enjoy more shared time and shared projects. Give each other more appreciation. Dwell more on what you like about your spouse. These little actions solve some problems.

*Help out your spouse more. Give more praise and more gratitude. Do more fun activities together. Laugh and joke more, do new things and visit new places together. The more good you give, you will receive.

*Surround yourself with people in healthy marriages. Some negative patterns keep reoccurring in your marriage may be because of some friends who have bad relationships. Surround yourself with people who value marriage and those who are keen on making their marriages work.

*Stay away from friends and family that magnify your spouse’s weaknesses and who talk badly about their own spouses. They will only teach you how to treat your spouse badly.

Men, stop listening to those beer parlour buddies who claim they control their wives with iron fists. They will ruin your home. Face your marriage and treat your wife with the respect she deserves and watch how peaceful your home will be.

Kate

I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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