The belief that women are dependents and men are providers is wrong

The belief that women are dependents and men are providers all the time is wrong. This issue of men refusing to acknowledge how much their women contribute to keeping the home running so that they won’t lose their so called headship is an injustice to women.

Many women are doing their best to make sure that their families don’t starve but instead of giving them the honour and respect due to them, their men are taking all the glory because this society believes that men are always providers and women are dependents.

Dr. Udeme Umanah wrote a beautiful piece about this topic. Enjoy it:

“I actually think we underrate the financial contributions made by women in a relationship/marriage.

The society has wired us to think that women are always at the receiving end while men do the providing/giving. This is erroneous.

Let us start with courtship. There are in fact so many girls supporting their boyfriends financially.

I remember our younger dating days, I had friends who collected monies deceitfully from their parents to help their poor boyfriends solve problems.

As far back as I can remember, some would steal food from the family house to feed their lovers. I know you all know this too. It is still happening.

A young girl truly in love can do almost anything for you. Some girls have provided the capitals for business start ups.

Some have launched their partners to politics. Some have even found jobs for their partners.

They made contributions that are often brushed off as insignificant. Even some of the boyfriends in question do not take it serious.

When he blows, he is quick to forget and move on to girls “more befitting”. God forbid you actually acknowledge that you were helped and made by a woman.

Women are not only dependents

When it comes to marriage, I think this one is grossly unfair. There are many many many women who are breadwinners of the family.

They contribute a larger portion to the financing of the home. Some contribute in equal parts. I have known many industrious mothers.

Many of us today can only boost of being graduates from the sacrifices of our mothers.

Many women hustle and hustle just to be sure the children don’t starve. I know many of us can readily think of and we know many such women.

What is the point of all these? I think we underestimate women too much, we underrate them. Since they seen as second class citizens, their work don’t matter.

We look down on their contributions more often than not. Some believe if they acknowledge their partners, they will lose their “HEADSHIP”. The headship of the home tied to financial provision is a problem.

What happens when the head can not meet up his financial obligations, does he cease to be head at that point? A man can lose his job or be incapacitated. This headship sef, what exactly does it entail? It seems to be about financial power more than leadership in a home.

The belief that women are dependants and the men providers ALL the time is wrong. We are MORE! Give us our due respect. Respect your mothers, respect your wives. It is team work.

But on a serious note, many women don’t think they deserve respect. They carry that mentality that everything money should be from and about a man.

That is why you will see a woman pay school fees for her own child and lie to the child that the money came from the father.

That is why a woman will buy a car and claim her husband bought it for her. That is why she would buy a land with her husband’s name because God forbid she owns a property.

They claim they are covering their husbands. I think it is even insulting to the man. We should change this mentality and not pass down this error to our children.

Woman, there is no shame is supporting your husband, don’t make him ashamed, don’t feel ashamed! It is teamwork!

Earning capacity is dynamic most of the times and can change at anytime. The important thing is to keep the home running with everybody pulling their own weights. Respect each other’s effort.”

XOXO,
Dr Fab

Kate

Woman. Journalist. Writer. Blogger. Non Conformist. Rebel. Daring. Creative. Amazing. Unstoppable.

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