10 reasons Nigerian women shouldn’t rush into marriage
Nigerian women shouldn’t rush into marriage. Marriage is good and sweet. The union between two people who love, respect and want to spend the rest of their lives together is a beautiful experience but no one should rush into marriage.
Many people make preparations for wedding without equipping themselves for the journey of marriage itself. Marriage is a long journey that you can’t tell for certain what lies ahead of you and your partner. This is why it is not advisable to rush into marriage. People should look before they leap when it comes to choosing their spouses.
The worst thing on earth after poverty is ending up in a bad marriage. Dealing with a bad spouse drains you emotionally, physically and mentally. It destroys your self esteem and robs you of peace. You become a shadow of yourself if you have the misfortune of marrying the wrong person.
You feel most of your friends are getting married and your friends and family are already asking, “When is it your turn?” Sure, you and your partner are in love and marriage seems to be the next logical step, but before you jump into a hasty decision, there are some reasons why you shouldn’t give in to the pressure to tie the knot just yet. Make sure you are truly ready to settle down before you walk down that road to avoid stories that touch in the future.
Allow room for you and your partner to grow as individuals and for your relationship to grow naturally as a couple. You don’t have to rush your relationship to maturity. Take time to nurture your relationship, work out all the issues, and be sure that your relationship has the potential to get better as time goes on. Give yourselves the opportunity to bond in new ways without being married. If you rush into marriage, you may rush out soon.
You have to also consider your priorities in life before deciding on marriage. Make sure you are both on the same page about each other’s career goals as well as personal achievements and experiences. In short, live your life to the fullest before thinking about settling down.
Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and compromises and subjecting yourself to all these negotiations may make you wonder a few years down the life if you have missed any opportunities and not built for yourself a life you deserved and wanted.
Educate yourself, travel as much as you can, know people, make friends, develop a career, and then say “I do”. Life’s like a cycle. Complete each stage before moving onto the next. Don’t rush because you won’t be able to go back, to finish the unfinished business.
Marriage is a life-long commitment that comes with responsibilities, money, children, and routines which require maturity, hard work and compromise from both sides. Are both of you mature enough to deal with all that? The house chores, the errands, cooking, the education of your child, etc. are part of marriage and no person, who isn’t mature enough, can look after all these things simultaneously.
These things are not women’s responsibilities alone. So, men are you ready to be involved in your marriage a hundred percent and be a hands-on parent with your children instead of claiming their mother should raise them? Nigerian men should stop thinking doing house chores and raising children should be women’s duties alone.
Marriage is not just a union between you and your partner; it’s a union between both your families. This is especially true for this society, so you will have to be ready to face both positive and negative responses when you decide to tie the knot. Being a part of your partner’s family is tricky and more intense than meeting them for the first time. Ask yourself if your are ready to be a part of his family.
Trust is essential in marriage. Being married means you will be sharing almost every aspect of life with your partner, which includes coming clean about your emotional baggage with your partner. Childhood nightmares, toxic relationship experiences and scars that remain after some bitter encounter with others could affect your present relationship. But these things can slowly be resolved if you are willing to share your baggage with your partner.
You shouldn’t rush into marriage because weddings can be expensive. Both you and your partner should evaluate your financial situations before deciding to get married. You don’t want to spend your married life in debt, and you would be surprised by how often couples fight because of lack of money.
I pity people who get married banking on other people’s money and benevolence. The idea of getting married when you both have no viable means of livelihood is suicide mission. You don’t get married without any financial plan and start feeling entitled to other people’s money tomorrow.
If you are planning to get married, have your own money no matter how small and stop waiting for people to pay your rent, feed you and your spouse and even pay for your hospital bills when your wife eventually gives birth to your baby.
Rushing into marriage does not guarantee that the relationship will not fall apart. You don’t want to have regrets and wonder what things would have been like if you hadn’t rushed into settling down so quickly with your partner. Regrets can cause a lot of drama and tension in a relationship if you or your partner begin to think that things might have gone better for you if had made a different choice.
Just because you haven’t tied the knot doesn’t mean your relationship is incomplete. Not being married does not mean you are alone or that you don’t have somebody to trust and to count on in times of need. Even if you are not married, you will also always have somebody for better or worse, someone to count on, love, laugh with, fight with, miss, confide in and rely on. You don’t need to be married to have a life of warmth and intimacy.
There are certain things you have to reflect upon before getting married. This is why you shouldn’t rush down the aisle with any man who proposes marriage to you. First, reflect on the compatibility of you and your partner’s characteristics and personalities. You might have known each other well enough to a certain extent, but are you ready to stand beside your partner for better for worse?
Ultimately, marriage is a lasting decision for you and your partner. Take all the time you need to really think about it and ask yourselves if you are both physically and emotionally ready to take the next step in your relationship. You don’t have to rush things.