Why couples slowly drift apart
There are reasons some couples slowly drift apart. For some couples who break up, it isn’t some major event, some huge breach of trust or some tragedy that makes it happen. In most cases, the couples simply drift apart. They don’t see it coming.
These couples don’t notice how bad things have gotten in their relationships. They are so busy trying to make ends meet or busy pursuing their individual goals that they forget to work on their relationships with their partners.
If you ask some couples after they break up with their partners what happened, they can’t really tell you exactly when or how it happened, but they wake up one day and realize they no longer feel loved, wanted and connected to their partners.
They no longer feel that magical emotion you feel with the person you want to spend your whole life with. It’s just gone. The sad thing about couples drifting apart is that most of the time, it was within their control to stop the drift from happening but they just didn’t take note on time.
Life has a way of convincing people that some other things are more important than their relationships or marriages. In the long run, they lose sight of what’s important because they feel their partners will always be there when they are done with whatever they are paying more attention to.
It is up to couples who want to stay committed to their relationships to note some of the ways couples drift apart and avoid such from happening to them.
You stop catching up. Life can keep you and your partner busy with the daily hustle and bustle of trying to keep your family afloat. You and your partner may stop catching up because you are too busy to talk and share ideas after a hard day’s job.
Sometimes, telling your partner about how hectic or bad your day was forces you to relive all of the emotions you already suffered that day and you may not want that. So when your partner asks about your day, you say nothing much happened because you just want to eat and sleep.
You can either relive the emotions of telling your partner about your fight with your colleague or your business partner or suffer declining emotions in your relationship. When your partner knows what you went through, he or she is more in touch with what’s happening in your life and they can help you feel better. They can ask you for updates about it the next day.
You will actually find you feel better after venting to your partner about your bad day instead of keeping everything in or venting your frustrations on your partner. If couples don’t create time to talk, they will stop having any clue about what is happening in one another’s lives.
Do you over-prioritize your career or business? You and your partner may be drifting apart because of this. You work so hard that you neglect your partner. When they complain, you remind them how hard you have worked to the place you are now and even accuse them of being envious of your progress. This is why some drift apart.
Don’t stop dating your spouse. This is how to keep the flame of love burning. Men, don’t say that you can’t go on date nights with your wife because she has four children and looks old. Who made her look old in the first place? Why do you think it is right to take your side chicks to dates but not your wife? Stop destroying your marriage with your hands.
Take time to schedule date nights with your partner. It should be a night devoted to just the two of you to talk, play, kiss and catch up on lost time. Don’t forget the sex too. That should crown the evening. This will strengthen your relationship with your partner.
If you stop taking vacations as a couple, you might start drifting apart. If you have been married for a long time, you may feel there is no need for vacations. You just think, “We see each other all the time! We don’t need to spend the money to go to a hotel to be together.”
But time in your apartment, when all you talk about are bills, provisions, food, school fees, light bills, hospital bills and other responsibilities, is not the same as time in a hotel or a beautiful and quiet resort.
When you get too busy for your partner, you may start to drift apart. You know life can get busy. It can get so busy that the only time you have to spend with your partner in a week is ten minutes in bed in the morning or ten minutes during breakfast. When your relationship comes down to this, watch it! Things are getting bad.
If you would rather not fight with your partner, you both are slowing drifting apart. It’s good if you have learned to let the little things go, but some topics are still worth the fight. Some partners just want to get along, and so they keep quiet when their partner does or says something that goes against their values and beliefs.
If your partner is doing or saying something that you strongly disagree with, it’s worth telling them at that time what you really think about their actions. When you suppress negative emotions, it doesn’t help you and your partner get along; it slowly drives you apart.
Are you suppressing your own dreams because of your partner or relationship? Is there something you want to go after but you are afraid to pursue it? Are you neglecting your goals and dreams because your partner feels you shouldn’t be free to pursue your dreams?
You should know that you cannot be happy as a couple if you are not happy as an individual. If you have a dream you need to chase, do it for your sake, and for the sake of your relationship. That dream may keep you busy but in the end, it will make you a happier person, and a better partner.
If you simply have no interest in your partner’s hobbies and they don’t bother about yours, then something is wrong. You are not the type of person to drag your partner to some event he or she doesn’t want to go to because you can always go without them. You and your partner should watch it; this is one of the signs that you are beginning to drift apart.
Couples should know that being together isn’t about the activity; it’s about spending quality time together. It is about having shared experiences and memories that will keep you close for years. This will help them fight against drifting apart and ultimately improve their relationships. It is important for men and women to do their best to keep your relationship going.