The importance of having an identity outside your relationship

Having an identity outside of your relationship is so important. That way, should the worst happen; you know who you are without them, you know how to cope without them and you know you bring value – even without them.

That’s not to say without them your life won’t be sad or even difficult. Nor does that mean coping without them will be easy. Having an identity outside of your relationship simply means that your sense of self-worth isn’t tied to another human being.

Losing your identity in a relationship is an easy thing to do particularly for women. The expectations that have been set throughout history surrounding being a wife and motherhood means many women prioritise their partner and kids to the point that they lose all sense of self.

Why you shouldn’t lose your identity

Love people. But don’t let that love lead you to a place where you don’t even recognise yourself.

Love people. But don’t allow your character and personality to fade away in the process.

Love people. But don’t love to the point that you fail to comprehend your own needs.

It’s important to love people HEALTHILY. Not just for our own sake but also for theirs.

When you lose your identity in a relationship, you’re doing yourself and your partner a disservice. You become a shadow of your former self. Not who they fell in love with.

You don’t have to give up your identity just to be in a relationship. You don’t have to stop being who you are because you have a boyfriend or got married.

Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t reduce yourself to just being a woman in a relationship. What about your dreams, goals and plans?

What about who you truly are independent of that relationship? If that relationship is no more, will you remain who you are or you would have lost yourself?

Your identity matters. Preserve your identity, it is who you are.

Think about it!



Woman. Journalist. Writer. Blogger. Non Conformist. Rebel. Daring. Creative. Amazing. Unstoppable.

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