I left my abusive marriage with N200 and four children but never looked back

On this day 2007, I dared the odds and left an abusive marriage. I had N200 and my four little children. Although my traducers would give ANYTHING to have me in their circle today, I have NEVER looked back.

I still remember the smirk rhetoric that filled my ears “don’t worry yourself, she will come back. How will she survive with four children? Who will look at her in a world where ‘single girls’ are already starved of men?”

These were the caps they put on me. Humans who could only see within the limitations that their mortality would let them.

I left my abusive marriage and never looked back

I knew who I was. I assume my very best where men have dismissed me and gone to bed. I was about to make a fabulous adventure of single parenting. This ones, I will be picking dropped jaws in no disant time.

I have done just that, gracefully. No drama.

Every association, has been DELIBERATE.

I redefined my priorities and eliminated ‘little minds’ from my circle. I dined only with great minds and king makers.

One day in my kitchen, from a foregone situation, I made a brilliant man a Minister of the republic, with just one phone call.

I am blessed with the best of humans.

Me, that tiny girl who was scoffed at in Calabar. These characters couldn’t see beyond their noses.

By God, I have invested the best in my children. Life served me with my eldest son, but the guy is up again dwarfing exams like they never existed.

The youngest of the quartet is rounding up her last WAEC papers today.

My children are my fondest success story.

When they say “single mothers do not raise decent humans” I look at my children and laugh. I am the mother In-law your children will beg to have. I have raised kings and queens. I love those four like crazy.

I have surpassed every limitations of culture, religion and human tendencies. I rise, like Oron garri.

When people come seeking advises from me with tales of abuse at work places and in their relationships, I don’t know what to say. I have never endured an abusive environment.


By Progress Okuk


Woman. Journalist. Writer. Blogger. Non Conformist. Rebel. Daring. Creative. Amazing. Unstoppable.

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