How some Nigerian pastors are enabling marital abuse

Some Nigerian pastors are the greatest enablers of abuse against women and girls. These men who pay lip service to caring for all their flocks don’t use their exalted position to call abusive and erring husbands to order.

It is annoying that they continually use the Bible to emotionally blackmail women into going back to their abusers while doing nothing to soothe the pain these women are feeling.

Consider these scenarios:

Woman 1:

Pastor, my husband is hurting me emotionally. He doesn’t spend time with me. He spends late nights and is having multiple affairs with different women on social media. He even denies that we are married just to sleep with these women. I am heartbroken. I have tried talking to him but he doesn’t listen. I have reported him to his family members but they told me to leave him alone because he’s a man with resources and as long as he’s taking care of me and our children, I shouldn’t bother with who he’s sleeping with. They said I should be grateful that he comes back home to me after philandering.

Pastor to woman 1:

This is not an issue. You are trying to handle a spiritual issue with your physical ability. Are you willing to pay the price for your husband to become faithful to you and your marriage vows? Are you willing to fast and pray for God to touch his heart and change him? Are you willing to go on your knees to call on heaven to save your husband’s soul so that you will start enjoying peace in your marriage?

But this same pastor won’t give a man with a cheating wife this same advice.

How Nigerian pastors enable abuse

Woman 2:

My husband slaps me at will. He beats me up at anytime. I have told his family members about his violent attitude and they told me to stop challenging him. I was advised to stop talking whenever he’s talking. The sad part is that I don’t have to say anything for him to get angry and start beating me.

Pastor to woman 2:

The devil is attacking your home. It is not the fault of your husband. He’s under the control of dark forces who want to destroy your marriage. You have to embark on a seven day fasting and prayer session to deliver your husband’s soul from the powers of darkness.

But this same man doesn’t beat up his female boss who talks down on him or his fellow men who offend him on the road.

Woman 3:

Pastor, I am tired of working while my husband takes all my salary to chase small girls around town. He doesn’t buy me clothes, shoes, perfumes, wristwatches or gives me money to make my hair. He takes my salary and gives me transportation money for work and that’s it. How do I take care of myself without money?

Pastor to woman 3:

He’s your husband, your head and the god you see. You are doing the right thing by submitting to your husband. That is what the Bible commands women to do. You are a virtuous woman. What is the problem? Your husband knows the best thing for you and your family. Don’t worry about material things, they don’t matter. Focus on pleasing God and your husband and you will make heaven.

It is sad how these pastors hammer on submission and conveniently forget the love your wife portion in the same Bible.

Nigerian women should stop listening to these pastors who enable their abuse if they don’t want to die from high blood pressure. These pastors don’t care about you and your well being, they are just after offerings and tithes. It’s appalling.

Kate

Woman. Journalist. Writer. Blogger. Non Conformist. Rebel. Daring. Creative. Amazing. Unstoppable.

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