Nigerian women cannot love you if they cannot own you

Nigerian women cannot love you if they cannot own you.

Nigerian women cannot love you without trying to be friends or tag you to a daft clique or add you to a group.

No. They cannot just love you from afar.
They have to enter you. They have to own you. They have to introduce you to ten thousand other women.
They cannot love your strength and voice from afar. They have to invite you into a cult, a sisterhood…they have to want a part of that magic that you are.
Nigerian women will not just like your post in peace…
They want to invite you to a Whatsapp or BBM group. They want to send their address so you can come and eat something that you have never eaten before.

Nigerian women won’t love you without trying to own you

Nigerian women cannot love you if they cannot own you.
If you decide that your power and magic are yours to keep and you do not require some kind of sorority… they will be offended.
It is why a simple call is never enough. They need you to jump out of your skin…running towards them to become one flesh.
All you need to do is reject an offer from Nigerian women… they will turn to arsonists… burning houses and a part of themselves.
This kind of insecurity is something I can never understand.
Do not pick their calls. Do not accept invitation for sleep-over. Do not hang out or acknowledge them…
They will first fume, “who does she think she is?”
Then they go ahead and beef you for daring to have a mind of your own. For being a woman of your own. For not finding their coterie cute enough or bearable.
They need to be in control of how you think and what you do.
It is why they tell their friends to tell their friends to tell their friends who to befriend.
It is why even in groups they monitor the comments and posts of their members on non-members’ walls.
That rickety bandwagon you all are on will not take you very far.
Jump off and book a single ticket on a plane.
Reject the idea of groups and cliques…and it would be that you think yourself to be better than they are.
People do not hate you oh. They hate your magic. Because it will take them over a hundred thousand people to light a candle…
You light up the world just by being.
I have seen mediocrity…but none yet like these sisters who are obsessed with me.
These women are like parts of missing bodies. If you were all to become one human being…you still will not be complete.
Written by Joy Isi Bewaji


Woman. Journalist. Writer. Blogger. Non Conformist. Rebel. Daring. Creative. Amazing. Unstoppable.

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