I grew up in an environment where men beat their wives just to prove a point

Ifu Ennada, a Nigerian film actor, fashion designer and a former BBNaija housemate thinks she needs redemption because she doesn’t want to have a relationship with a man.

Growing up, Ifu Ennada felt men were monsters and because of the way the country was run by men and how paedophiles got away with their crimes, she’s scared of bringing children into this world.

Ifu Ennada wrote:

“My people I think I legit need redemption. So this just happened – From my balcony I saw a shirtless hot guy and went “oh my goodness, this guy is sweet.”

I started thinking of the things that could be, but in that same breath I quickly said “abeg nothing dey there jare, dis one go be like the rest.”

When I went back inside I reflected on my actions and just marveled at how far I’ve come in blocking men out of my life.

Ifu Ennada

Do you know that sometimes I imagine myself having kids through a surrogate just so that I don’t disrupt my life and future with the problems that come with being in a relationship with a man?

But can anyone really blame me? I grew to watching and hearing countless news of 72-year-old men raping 3 year-old-girls and getting away with it. Sadly, this is still a norm in my country.

I grew up in an environment where men beat their wives for no reason just to prove a point – I still can’t tell what the point is. I have suffered a variety of abuse in the hands of relatives, a former employer and even people I trusted.

As a young child everywhere I looked, the society made it seem like only men had the power to make wealth and even the women didn’t help… So how can anyone even blame me for the way that I am?

Growing up, I felt men were monsters, it also didn’t help that the government was/is run by mostly men who have eveything but good thoughts for Nigeria, so I was a very f*cked up kid even though I was/am a bright star. I was a rebel.

I have been trying to make adjustments but I don’t think my redemption will happen in one day.”

 

Kate

Woman. Journalist. Writer. Blogger. Non Conformist. Rebel. Daring. Creative. Amazing. Unstoppable.

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2 Responses

  1. Oluwafunmije says:

    This is one of the numerous reasons women choose to live alone. And what will the society say? “She’s too proud. She’s not ready to submit to her husband.”
    They don’t care what you’ve being through, or care to teach the men to be human in their dealings with women.
    All they expect is, you just keep enduring their foolish acts, and call tag you ‘not submissive’ because you’re not accepting the foolishness.
    That’s how sick our society is.

  2. Francess says:

    This is exactly how I feel…attended a wedding today and the .message was just hammering on women being submissive and living for the man, making his goals, wants and needs first before hers…and this statement “women have the responsibility to make a marriage work, if the marriage fails then she has failed as a woman”…too much pressure on us women, I sincerely am not big on submitting all of me to make someone else happy all the time…these teachings make marriage look like some consensual form of bondage to me

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