5 women revealed what they did after a breakup
Do you know what to do after a break up of a long term relationship? Do you have hobbies to do after a break up? Do you have a good support system you can rely on after a messy break up?
Do you shrug your shoulders and say, oh well, soldier come, soldier go after that guy you love so much breaks up with you? Do you know what to do with yourself after a break up?
Do you stay indoors, cry your eyes out and refuse to eat when your guy breaks up with you? Do you know what to do after a break up with your boyfriend? Do you bury yourself in your work or business just to numb the pain of the break up you suffered?
A break up is not an easy thing. No matter how much women try to guard their hearts from getting broken, it still hurts. A break up can catch you unawares and even deal more emotional blows that the one you have suffered in the past. I know this because I have been there a few times. At a point, you start feeling physical pain in your heart.
I have been thinking a lot about how messy break ups impact the lives and behaviour of women after my friend told me recently that she would never fall in love again because the last guy she dated shattered whatever was left of her already broken heart. Those words pierced my heart.
I felt for her. I knew she was talking from a place of pain, hurt and heartbreak. so, I took the liberty to speak to five women on what they did after a messy breakup and their responses were straight from the heart as usual. Read further to find out if you are dealing with your break up the right way or if you are making things worse for yourself.
Olufunke: Rushing into a new relationship was disastrous for me
I jumped from my break up to another relationship just to pepper my ex but it was a wrong move. I took things a bit too fast and rushed into a new relationship without healing from the past one. This was a disaster for me. The new guy saw through my pain and weakness and treated me like crap. I was always the one calling one, sending him messages, wanting to go out with him and he was just there like a log of wood. I got tired of running after him and broke up with him via text message.
I didn’t bother meeting with him or trying to see him because I had had enough of his aloofness. Given what I know now, it is not advisable to jump into a rebound relationship after your last one so that you won’t heap your emotional frustrations on an innocent person and also so you won’t be taken for granted. It is important to heal first and then go into a new relationship a better person.
Ifeoma: I gave myself a break before I started another relationship
My last relationship was a really bad one and I needed time to get over it. It was hard for me to continue seeing my ex boyfriend at work and dealing with all the pains in my heart. It was so hard dealing with his absence in my life. I couldn’t simply erase someone that I have been close to from my mind. I had strong feelings for him and even pictured us getting married at some point. We did almost everything together and having such closeness taken away from me suddenly was a big blow to deal with.
I knew within myself that I needed time to heal. So, I gave myself a break, before I even agreed to just hang out with another guy not to talk of having a relationship with him. It took me almost ten months to agree to have a date with a guy from my university days. Two weeks later, we started dating and we are good. That way, we started on a clean slate and he didn’t have to deal with my unnecessary mood swings.
Lydia: I went into a new relationship just to prove a point to my ex
I was angry with my ex and went into a new relationship immediately after we broke up earlier this year. I just wanted to prove a point that I didn’t need my ex but I was lying to myself. We dated for over a year and he suddenly started misbehaving. He started seeing my small faults and kept comparing me to his ex. I decided to teach him a lesson after we broke up. Who was I kidding?
I was hurting so much that I started losing weight without exercises. It became worse after he got married to my former neighbor. I kept asking myself why he chose her over me. I asked myself many times what she had that I didn’t have and that drove me into a depressive state. It took my close friends to get me out of that state. They begged me to slow down and stop rushing things. I am happy that I listened to them. I am a happier person today.
Racheal: I was scared of being alone and went into a new relationship
After my ex boyfriend broke up with me six months ago, I was so scared of being alone that I jumped into a relationship for that reason alone. I was just using the new guy and playing with his emotions because I wanted to get over my ex by force. In the long run, both of us became miserable because he was competing with someone in my past.
You cannot blame me for this because all my life, I have been alone and having a man be in a relationship with me was a biog deal. I did everything possible to keep that relationship including borrowing money so that I can help my ex travel abroad. I don’t know how it happened but he saw through my desperation and call me clingy. he said I was to desperate to be with him and it was an obsession.
I cried for days. I begged him to at least remain friends with me so that it would be easier to deal with the pain but he refused. he cut me off completely. I was devastated. I don’t have many friends so I didn’t have people to help me get over him. That was how loneliness drove me into the arms of a married man who just used me to get over his wife’s misbehaviour at home. I felt worse afterwards.
Adebimpe: I went into a new relationship because I was bored
After my break up with my boyfriend of over two years, I discovered I had too much time on my hands. Unfortunately, that was the reason that I jumped straight into a new love affair with a former church member but we kept having problems because I was emotionally unstable. I needed some company and instead of going out with friends or family, I started dating this new guy who brought me more heartache. I craved physical comfort so much that I didn’t know how to handle my loneliness.
Esther: I was influenced by others to start dating someone else
After my boyfriend called off our relationship when he traveled abroad, I was influenced by some friends to start dating someone else. That was a wrong move. I didn’t take time out to deal with my emotions. My friends convinced me to get back to dating, before I was really ready. I dated just to please them and it backfired. My new partner didn’t make me happy. We broke up after four months. This is why I won’t advice ladies to jump into a new relationship immediately after a break up. Stay on your own. Enjoy your own company. Learn from your last relationship and determine to do better when next you go into a new relationship.