10 struggles Naija single mums can relate with
Naija single mums are the real MVPs. They are the ones who stayed to take care of their children even though they knew it would be a very tough job given the kind of society we find ourselves in.
Even though raising children is meant to be a two-person job, unfortunately, circumstances such as death, divorce, and other unforeseen situations often leave some mums struggling to juggle the responsibilities of child rearing alone.
Motherhood is hard for a woman who has a supportive partner or spouse but single motherhood is a whole different game. Single mothers struggle with some issues that only those who are single handedly raising their children can understand.
Below are 10 struggles Naija single mums can relate with:
They struggle with religion
Various religions see it as taboo for a woman to raise children as a single parent. Some people erroneously believe that children who are raised by single mothers end up badly but this is not true.
Some single mothers are forbidden from belonging to any unit in some churches. What religion doesn’t teach Nigerians is that these women shouldn’t be judged but should rather be applauded for their will and courage to take on something like raising a child alone.
They struggle with finances
Even though some single mothers can raise their children successfully, the truth is that with the cost of living going up and school fees getting so expensive, it requires some extra work on the part of these women to make ends meet. Money related issue remains a challenge for many single mothers as the cost of living continues to go up.
They struggle with isolation
Having another person around to share the physical and emotional load of parenting is good but being completely alone can be a very isolating experience. Single moms would like to have spa days and shopping sprees with their friends but most of them are almost not allowed the privilege. Being tied to their homes with homework to help with and households to run, this is a luxury.
They struggle with societal judgment
Many people continue to make swift judgments and display flippant attitudes towards single mothers. Even worse, some even treat their children differently because of their marital status. Sadly, the places where the most mistreatment occurs are typically where you would assume to be safe havens like churches and family gatherings.
They struggle with the safety and security of their children
Single mothers are faced with the task of making sure that their children are safe. From taking care of the security at home to looking out for their children when they are away from home, these women are really struggling because they are alone with their children and being the only one responsible for the family’s security is difficult.
They struggle with discipline
Even though Naija mums love to discipline their children, being a single mum can be challenging when it comes to disciplining the children. On one hand, they don’t want to spare the rod and spoil the child but on the other hand, they don’t want their children to end up spoilt and badly raised. Discipline can prove to be quite a challenge especially when it comes to a rebellious teenager with a will of his or her own.
They struggle with mum guilt
Mom guilt affects almost all mothers, but it doubles when you are trying fill the role of both parents especially if your child or children are too young to understand why they don’t have a father like other children at school.
They struggle with too much work
Being a single mom often means increased workload, less breaks, and little rest. Gone are those early nights in bed and those wonderful afternoon siestas. They are on duty around the clock. From working long hours to provide for their children to their daily care, this leaves little time for personal projects, hobbies and rest. Finding me time as a single mother is very hard.
They struggle with dating
Trying to manage dating as a single parent is not easy. You are tasked with managing school schedules, extracurricular stuff, coordinating pick up and drop off times with your co-parent and now you have to take an additional person’s schedule into account as well.
They struggle with filling a void
When children are young, they ask a lot of questions about where dad is and why they don’t have two parents like everyone else. It is a real and difficult answer to give to a child and proves to be one of the biggest struggles of being a single mother in Nigeria.
They struggle with being loved and accepted with their children
Many Nigerian men find it hard to accept another man’s child as their own. In some cases, they dump women they are dating when they find out that these women are single mothers. This mindset makes it hard for single mums to meet someone dependable and reliable to start a new life with.