You had sex with him, he didn’t use you

Lady, you had sex with him, he didn’t use you. Sex is not a loss of dignity or self worth if it was consensual.

Ladies who have sex with men and when the relationship ends, cry wolf and claim they have been used are not being truthful to themselves.

No one used anyone. As long as the sex was consensual and the feeling was mutual, there was no usage. You received as much pleasure as you gave.

You went to the clouds of ecstasy and enjoyed orgasms as much as the guy you had sex with. So ladies, please stop all these talks about being used by men you had consensual sex with.

You had sex with him, he didn’t use you

When you were writhing in pleasure, gyrating to the rhythm of that guy’s thrusts, urging him to increase the intensity of his strokes, moaning at the expert “wilsoning” of your garden, inviting his fingers to explore your lush wet garden, moaning in ecstasy and barking out orders to have your vegetation cleared harder with an unforgiving turgid penis, you didn’t feel used.

When you were swearing that he’s good and the best thing that happened to your sex life, you didn’t feel used. When you were offering yourself as a living sacrifice to be sacrificed on the altar of leg-shaking orgasms, you didn’t feel used.

When you were basking in the euphoria of the rapturous after sex feeling and warm cuddles, you didn’t feel used. When you were looking into his eyes lovingly after being sexually satisfied by this guy, you didn’t feel used.

Aunty, please move on in peace. But when the passion dissipates and the relationship packs up, you claim that you have been sexually used by the man.

That comment, “you have gotten what you wanted” irks me. The victim mentality just has to stop. You had fun; he had fun, get over it!

Whether you had sex on the first date or after hundred dates and the sex was consensual, you weren’t used. You got what you wanted as well and that’s satisfaction of a primal urge.

So if you must get sexually involved with a man, experiment all you want and get the most out of that experience. Be thoroughly satiated and be happy with your decision. Don’t try wolf when the sexcapade ends by claiming that guy used you.

 Written by Lawrencia Chioma 











I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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