A man’s love shouldn’t leave you exhausted

Dear Nigerian woman, man’s love shouldn’t leave you exhausted, stressed out, drained, unappreciated and unworthy.

Any man who makes you feel less of who you are doesn’t love you. Forget his declarations of love, watch his actions.

Any man who compliments and at the same time insults you doesn’t love you. He’s playing games with you and trying to make you think he’s just managing you.

Any man who tells you to change your body not because of health reasons but because of their selfish interest doesn’t love you. He should have gone for the kind of woman he wants.

Any man whose love is not free, natural and liberating doesn’t love you. Stop deceiving yourself. If he places conditions on his love, you are being taken for a ride.

Any man whose love leaves you drained, confused, tired and lost doesn’t love you. His presence in your life should make you a better and happy woman.

A man’s love shouldn’t leave you exhausted

Any man whose love leaves you depressed and sad all the time is not one whose love is real. He’s a narcissist who won’t stop until you decide enough is enough.

Any man whose love doesn’t heal your past wounds and protects you from pains, hurts and outside attacks doesn’t love you. If he hurts you more, you are on your own.

If his love breaks you rather than build you and bring out the best in you, he doesn’t love you.

If his love comes with verbal, physical, emotional, financial and psychological abuse, it’s not true.

If his love is laced with control, obsession and tears, he doesn’t love you. He shouldn’t be in your life.

The problem with some Nigerian women is that they are always in a hurry to be in a relationship so they overlook glaring red flags just to have men in their lives.

Many women just want to get married and leave their families. Even when it is clear that the men don’t love and respect them, they dive headlong into miserable marriages and start disturbing people afterwards by seeking for advice that they won’t take.

It is sad that some Nigerian women don’t love themselves, so they entertain men who treat them horribly because they didn’t set relationship standards.

I pity women who think that marrying men will change and make them loving and responsible. This is a big lie. Marriage doesn’t change men.

So if you dating a man or planning to get married soon, ask yourself if that man really loves you. Ask yourself if he truly cares about you. Ask yourself if you both can conquer the world of problems together.

Love is either there or it’s not. He either loves you or he doesn’t. Marrying him won’t make him love you. Love is a healer. Love is friendly. Love is a protector.

Loving isn’t easy. It is a challenge but when it’s true, it’s a treasure. When a man loves you, you will know. It comes with peace. Love is not stressful.

Do you find these qualities in your man or you are just pushing to get married without thinking about your future? Think about it!


I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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