20 things you should do to keep your relationship going

If you want to find out how to keep your relationship going smoothly, this article is for you.

But one thing you should know is that it takes two people to make a relationship work. One person can’t do it alone.

This is why I am always angry when Nigerians hound women with making their marriages work without talking about what men should do too.

These people who are always advising women to do the impossible to keep their marriages talk as if women are married to themselves.

If one person is making all the efforts and the other person is doing little to nothing to make the marriage work, the relationship won’t work. One person will break down trying to keep what is meant for two people.

Women, it is not your responsibility alone to make your marriage work. Don’t kill yourself trying to do the impossible. You will develop high blood pressure trying to keep unwilling and irresponsible men.

Now, let’s talk about the 20 things that keep a relationship:

1. Communicate constantly. Talk about things. Talk about your feelings and discuss issues together. Talk about your day and share thoughts on things that concern your relationship.

2. Love your partner the way they want to be loved. Find out what love means to your partner. For some people, words of affirmation is love while to others, it is acts of kindness.

3. Trust is very important. Build trust in your relationship. Don’t do anything that will make your partner lose the trust they have for you. Without trust, your relationship is shaky.

4. Treat your partner the way you want to be treated. If you know something will break your heart to pieces, don’t do the same thing to your partner. We are all humans and we hurt.

5. Be honest with your partner. Don’t lie and deceive your partner. That’s not fair. If something is wrong with you, let your partner know. Don’t hide your health status from your partner.

6. Be faithful to your partner. Fidelity is not reserved for women in relationships and marriages. Men should be faithful to the women they say they love.

How to keep your relationship going smoothly

7. Be there for each other. Be your partner’s support system and go to person when it matters. Be present and attentive to your partner. Listen to their concerns. Calm their fears. Encourage them. Cheer them on.

8. Make time for each other. Spend quality time together. No matter how busy you both are, create time to be with each other. Go out together, eat dinner together, exercise together and have fun together.

9. Leave the past in the past including exes. Stop disrupting your present relationship with issues from the past. Focus on what you have now and don’t destroy it with people from your past. Be considerate.

10. Know that having arguments are normal. You will have disagreements with your partner, you will fight and then, you will make up. That’s how relationships are but this shouldn’t include verbal, physical and emotional abuse. They shouldn’t be tolerated.

11. Bear in mind that you won’t always be happy. Your partner will make you angry. Things will happen that will make you sad but you shouldn’t unleash your frustration on your partner. You have to be happy within you before you can be happy in your relationship.

12. Apologize as at when needed. You shouldn’t feel too big to apologize to your partner when you offend them. Refusing to say sorry appropriately will create resentment in your relationship in the long run. Say sorry, you won’t die.

13. Protect your partner from external attacks. Don’t allow anyone get comfortable with disrespecting your partner. Don’t give room for people to trash talk, belittle and humiliate your partner. Stand up for your partner.

14. Expect change from your partner in areas where they are weak. Don’t fall for that ‘this is how I am and you must take me like that’ crap. People have to change their bad behavior. Nobody wants to put up with nonsense. If you have bad habits and a stinking character, you must change.

15. Appreciate your partner’s flaws and help them become better as they make efforts to change. We are all different, raised in different backgrounds and have different flaws. Stop judging your partner for having flaws, you are not perfect yourself.

16. Appreciate each other. Show your partner how much you love them with your words and actions. Let your partner know how much you appreciate what you have together. This should go both ways. Don’t take each other for granted.

17. Become best friends. You should be each other’s ride or die person. You should share things without shame. You should think of sharing that good news with your partner first before any other person. Build friendship.

18. Support each other’s dreams and projects. Don’t feel threatened when your partner becomes more successful than you. Some Nigerian men have this problem. They become insecure whenever their girlfriends or wives start rising in their career or start making more money than them in business. It shouldn’t be like that.

19. Don’t let jealousy and insecurities ruin your relationship. Stop suspecting your partner’s every move especially if they haven’t given you reasons to mistrust them. Don’t go into anger mood whenever you see your spouse talking with the opposite sex, that’s not good.

20. Love each other unconditionally. Make plans together. Work together to make your relationship or marriage work. Nothing good comes easy. You have to work for the good things you want in life. It takes joint efforts to make a relationship work. So, do your part.


I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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2 Responses

  1. Basy okon says:

    Nice write up

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