How many times have you justified your wounds because you love the person hurting you?

Dear woman, how many times have you justified your wounds and scars because you love the person hurting you? How many more chances will you give to that person stabbing your heart repeatedly without remorse?

Why do you hate you yourself so much that you continue making excuses for a man treating you poorly? Why don’t you love yourself and say no to abuse? Why don’t grow some balls and say no to the person hurting you?

I’m done blaming Nigerian men for treating Nigerian women like doormats. What about these women who allow men walk all over them? Are they not adults? Don’t they know right from wrong? Are they tied to these violent, abusive and disrespectful men? The answer is no.

Nigerian women need to love themselves more. They need to love themselves before allowing wicked men destroy their lives. They need to know that love and abuse don’t go together. Women need to stop holding on to men who treat them badly.

I’m tired of receiving messages from women asking for advice on how to deal with abusive men. The sad thing is that when I tell these women what I think they should do, they will turn around and call me heartless. They want me to endorse their foolishness but I won’t do that.

How many times have you justified your wounds because you love the person hurting you


The worst thing you can do to yourself as a woman is give a man the power to destroy your life. You will live a sad, unhappy and unfulfilled life if you keep tolerating the excesses of an abusive man. You are hurting yourself.

You can’t be in a healthy relationship or marriage and you don’t have a say about what goes on at home. You can’t be in a healthy relationship and you can’t talk to your family and friends or visit them. You can’t be in a healthy relationship and you can’t make your own money.

You shouldn’t be at the mercy of a man financially. You shouldn’t lose who you are just to keep a man. You shouldn’t lose your means of livelihood to please a man. You shouldn’t sacrifice your family, friends, dreams, dignity, self worth and future just to please a man.

Women end up in toxic and abusive relationships because they don’t stand up for themselves early one when they notice some red flags. They let it slide because they don’t want to lose the men they are dating. They brush these red flags aside because they are in love.

How long will these women tolerate abuse and disrespect? How long will they justify the abusive actions of the men hurting them? When will it end? When will these women enjoy their relationships if they keep being abused?

Nigerian women, stop justifying your abuse with Bible verses and being a good wife. How many more times will you justify your abusive partner’s behavior towards you because you love him? Don’t you love yourself?

Love yourself first and that man will have no choice but to treat you with respect. You have to develop healthy relationship barriers for how you want to be treated by the men in your life. You should be responsible for your life, sanity, peace and relationship experience.

This is your life, live it well!


I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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