Some readers have asked me this question a couple of times “can you become a full time house wife?” My response is on few pre-nuptial terms and conditions. They are as follows:
That I will be on a monthly allowance of N300,000 at least. This amount shall be paid at the end or beginning of every month till I turn 50 or 55years of age. This amount is open to a 30% upward review at the beginning of every three years. Inflation and it’s likes shall be factored in as well.
I shall be due for a change of car of my choice every three years. A health insurance policy of at least N100,000 monthly premium.
A 15 or 20 years N50,000,000 sum assured Annuity plan in my name with a reputable insurance company of my choice. This N50million sum assured annuity plan will be paid either quarterly, semi annually, annually or a one-off payment.
What this means is that when I turn 50 or 55 years, the burden of my monthly allowances is shifted from my husband to the insurance company. This becomes my pension and I get paid for life. This policy protects me from any form of financial troubles in case of any eventualities.
Our children and my husband stands to gain a lot from this policy as well in the eventuality of death. They will be my beneficiaries.
An educational plan for each of our children from their first year. Each child shall have an insurance cover of at least #10,000,000 to mature at 18 years. This will ensure their education is taken care of with or without we their parents around.
I shall be permitted to further my studies to Doctorate degree level, still as a full time house wife.
A driver, house keeper and a chef be made available. With all these taken care of, gifts and vacations are welcomed with open arms, though the bill will be split 50-50 because I earn as well.
And if by any chance there is a breach of agreement in the future, after the grace period of three months, our contract will be terminated and no longer binding.
If this is written and spelt out in black and white in the presence of our attorneys, and we sign the dotted lines, I’ll accept to take up the job of a full time house wife.
You may say that i just succeeded in telling the man to forget about me becoming a full time house wife with this. Well, you are right because this is me being as realistic as possible. I’m watching out for myself and my children’s future.
In your mind, no young man would sign such agreement except he’s a billionaire. But you and I know that billionaires are smart, they don’t do liabilities, they go for assets.
It is unfortunate and also tragic that at this age and time some men still aspire to marry women just to keep them at home popping babies, cooking and cleaning.
Even if you are the richest person in the world, your wife should go out there and be useful to herself and humanity. Even if she’s volunteering in an orphanage, she is being useful with her life and humanity than just staying at home all day every day.
Women must wise up. It’s only men who feel women derive their sense of worth in marriage who would propose you become a full time house wife. To such men your opinions and aspirations in life ends with marriage. He sees your agreeing to marry him as your only way out of poverty and you cannot engage your mind beyond the title of a ‘Mrs’.
Dear ladies, if a man asks you to become a full time house wife, ask yourself to what end? What if the marriage ends? What happens if death occurs? It is not just about the money, it is also about career, growth, self development and fulfillment/actualization.
The most dangerous type of men women should run away from are men who see marriage as a possession.
These are men whose aim is to control and subdue you. They would likely not support your dreams and aspirations, neither will they encourage you to become a better version of you.
These men will never agree if you want to further your education, if they eventually let you, they will never allow you use the knowledge you acquired to better yourself. Just stay home!
They are extremely jealous, selfish, insecure, possessive and controlling, so they do not think highly of you, your goals and aspirations. They will interrupt and drown your voice.
They will isolate you from your family, friends and source of income, so they can emotionally or physically abuse you if need be. They will constantly threaten and issue ultimatums to maintain a sense of power over you. They are always up to no good in the long run.
Ladies, be careful so you don’t get easily carried away no matter how wealthy a man may be. Don’t be that woman who aspires to sit at home all day, tend to the kids, watch Television, chat on phone all day, engage in meaningless gossips while your counterparts are out there changing narratives and leaving their footprints in the sands of time.
Written by Amaka Nicholas.