Ladies, stop attaching yourselves to men who are not on the same page with you

Dear Nigerian ladies, stop attaching yourselves to men you clearly know are not on the same page with you. Stop playing games with your heart.

Stop giving undeserving men your all hoping that they will change for you and reward you with marriage. You will end up breaking your own heart.
Stop forcing yourself on men who don’t love you or care for you and then turn around to blame them for wasting your time when in fact, you are the one who wasted your own time.
You meet a guy, he tells you he doesn’t want a relationship but a fling and you agree. You both start going out, hanging out more and having sex and all is fine.
Months later, you start visiting him at home. You start cooking for him, cleaning his house, washing his clothes, bedsheets and curtains. You do these things because you have a goal in mind.
All the while you are cooking and cleaning for this guy, he didn’t tell you where you both stand. He didn’t define your relationship. He doesn’t see you as his girlfriend. He calls you his friend and you laugh it off.
All of a sudden, you start asking him where you both stand and what he calls your relationship. He reminds you of what he told you when you both met and how he didn’t want a relationship.
You start crying. You claim he’s heartless for leading you on and using you because you both always have sex. You tell him that he’s mean for not turning down everything you have done for him.

Ladies, stop attaching yourselves to men who are not on the same page with you

Aunty, sit down and think. Stop catching feelings for unwilling men. Stop going into undefined relationships. Stop crying about being used when you enjoyed sex countless times with a man.
Stop being desperate. Stop going out of your way to change a man’s decision. Stop doing the impossible to win an unwilling man’s heart. Stop cooking and cleaning for free when you can make good money with your skills.
You must know that you can’t keep a man who doesn’t want to be kept. Getting pregnant for a man who doesn’t want to be with you won’t make him change his mind about you.
Marrying a man who isn’t on the same page with you and doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life with you will end in premium tears. Stop jeopardizing your future for men who don’t love you.
Having a threesome and agreeing to have anal sex just to keep a man by your side won’t keep him either. You will end up draining yourself for nothing. It’s not worth it.
Ladies, stop going into situationships and claiming men used you. Be clear about that relationship. Ask questions. Take your time. Stop rushing into relationships with any man that says hello to you.
Look out for yourself. Protect your heart. Protect yourself. Love you!


I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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