10 issues Nigerian women deal with in marriages because they want peace to reign
Nigerian women face some issues in marriage and think putting up with these things are normal.
These issues range from dishonest spouses, to infidelity, to in-law interference and domestic violence.
The sad part is that many Nigerian women think it is normal to go through such painful emotional, physical and psychological stress. They believe marriage is a place of suffering.
This is why you hear many women say that marriage is endurance. This statement sent many women to their graves and made others bitter women for life.
Marriage is not endurance. If you are in a marriage where you have to endure physical, emotional, psychological, mental and sexual abuse, then you should end that marriage.
You are better off alone that enduring so much stress because you want to be called a married woman.
Getting married is not the issue, are you happy, sane, complete and whole in your marriage?
Is that man you are married to helping you live your best life or is he reducing you to nothing and making a mess of your life?
Some Nigerian women are so used to suffering abuse in their marriages that it has become normal to them. They even fight against anyone advising them otherwise.
There’s no marriage without issues but enduring abuse if any kind is not one issue that should be joked with. Nigerian women need to do better.
Below are 10 marriage issues Nigerian women face in their marriages:
1. Absent husbands. Some women are living with men that spend a chunk of their time outside their homes just to hang out with the boys. These men don’t know what happens in their homes and their wives are tired of talking to them about their irresponsible attitude.
2. Disrespectful husbands. A lot of Nigerian husbands claim they love to be respected but they don’t respect their wives. They talk to these women anyhow, treat them like kids who don’t have anywhere to go and still hound these women with the famous submission gospel. Respect is earned, not demanded.
3. Meddling in-laws. This is a big one. In this society, it is said that when you marry a man, you marry his whole family. Unfortunately, this has become a thorn in the flesh of many married women as they battle with their in-laws all the time because those ones don’t know what it means to respect boundaries. Marriage is between two people and not between a woman and her in-laws who see her a stranger to be stopped.
4. Cheating men. The most common problem Nigerian women face in marriages in Nigeria is cheating husbands. A lot of men get married not because they want to be in committed relationships but because they want children and want to be hailed responsible men. This is why a man who just got married is already cheating on his new wife and this society okays it. His wife is told to pray for him to change, cook his favorite food, wear sexy lingerie and do everything within her power to make her marriage work.
5. Money problems. Some men make money but spend it on irrelevant things. Many women are breadwinners in their homes but this society tells them to give the financial credits to their husbands. They are advised not to let people know that they pay the bills at home so that they won’t take away their husbands crowns. This is why it is common for some Nigerian women to buy themselves cars and gifts and claim their husbands bought it for them. It’s funny and pathetic at the same time.
6. Financial powerlessness. Some married women don’t have a dime to their names because their husbands forbade them from working or doing businesses. These women depend on their husbands for everything which gives rise to all kinds of marital abuse. Some women were career women but immediately they got married, their husbands stopped them from making their own money and they foolishly obeyed.
7. Lack of communication. Many Nigerian women are married to men they cant have a decent communication with. These women are always walking on egg shells around their husbands. They suffer from lack of marital communication and resort to asking strangers on Facebook women groups about how to talk to their husbands about things bothering them in their marriages.
8. Poor and crappy sex. I was shocked the day I discovered that some married women don’t know what orgasm means. I was discussing sex with my friend and these women were looking at us as if we were prostitutes. They claimed that reaching orgasm was a sin and that women were not created to enjoy sex because sex is for getting pregnant only. I shook my head in disbelief. For years, these women deal with poor and crappy sex because they believe it is only for procreation. No wonder we have many cranky and bitter married women in Nigeria.
9. Lazy and undomesticated husbands. This one is another big issue Nigerian women deal with in marriages. Some men can’t clean up after themselves. They can’t cook, clean and wash their own clothes. They expect their wives to do all these things because they were raised with the mindset that domestic chores is for women. This is why some men will get home before their wives on a working day and sit down watching television while waiting for their wives to come home later and cook dinner for them.
10. Alienation from family and friends. Many Nigerian women don’t relate with their family and friends because they want to please their husbands. Some don’t even visit their parents because they want peace to reign in their dysfunctional marriages. These women abandon their sick parents and needy siblings because their husbands commanded them to do so. Some don’t even attend the burial ceremonies of their parents because of their husbands.
Nigerian women can do better. They shouldn’t embrace these abnormalities in marriage all because they want to keep the peace. That’s enduring subtle abuse. It doesn’t make sense to suffer over a marriage.