Don’t get married because of pressure or love says Lami Philips

Nigerian singer Lami Philips wrote some nuggets about marriage. She said people shouldn’t get married because of pressure or time or even love.

Read her post below:

Some quick nuggets on this thing called Marriage:

1. Be clear on your why: Don’t get married because of pressure or time or even love. Get married because you have an unshakable conviction that that is the person you’re supposed to do life with, the person whose purpose is aligned with yours. The person created for you and you for that person.

2. Be clear on your who: it’s not about how you feel. Feelings come and go. Feelings are unreliable. Who is this person ? When people aren’t watching, who is this person? What are the persons fears, hopes, dreams, insecurities? What makes this person want to be better? What drives this person? What does this person struggle with and why? Who is this person? Don’t marry who they appear to be, marry the person God reveals to you. May God enlighten your eyes to see what only the soul and spirit can see. off the layers and seeing each other as you truly are. The commitment that goes way beyond sex.

Lami Philips

3. Know this commitment outweighs the feeling of love. That gangsta drive that says “it’s us till we stop breathing”. The commitment that says ” I see you and I love you anyway”. The commitment that believes beyond the shadow of the doubt that this person deserves you and you are so blessed to be deserving of the person. The commitment that knows you need grace to truly love; the commitment that knows that outside of grace you can’t do it. The commitment that depends on taking money or even the lack of it thereof.

The commitment that is founded on a true friendship. Commitment that doesn’t care about tall or short, fat or slim, yellow or dark skinned. All those things can change because life is funny that way. Health challenges can change the thing that was making you weak in the knees. Having children can change your body and your emotional architecture. Career fluctuations can change your flossing status and the money that enticed you may pause for a minute. Commitment to love beyond the feelings and in spite of the chaos. Commitment to say: we are on the same side and we are a team.

4. Enjoy the journey, marry someone you can laugh with even when you have no visible/logical reason to laugh. Marry someone who has pure joy.

Do you agree with what Lami Philips said about getting married?


I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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