In life, no one owes you anything

In life, no one owes you anything. Stop feeling entitled to other people’s money and help.

I will say this because it seems to be a re-occurring theme in my life and in my interactions.

Nigerians please! No-one owes you anything except your parents who brought you into this world – and besides they only owe you until you are an adult and you can stand on your own two feet.

And then the only other person that owes you, is your spouse; because they deliberately took a vow and a commitment to owe you.

Not one person in this life outside of those mentioned above owe you anything. Not even your children.

Because frankly, they did not beg to be born to you. No one outside of those I mentioned above owe you love or owe you to love you the way you want or demand to be loved or owe you lifting you up when you are down. Or even catering to your over bloated ego of what you think you deserve…

More importantly no-one owes you being successful. Nor is anyone put on this earth solely to cater to you and your needs or your success. Not even your spouse or your parents. Your success or lack thereof will depend on you and you alone.

How you also define your success is also up to you. Your race is yours alone. And if you get help while running, be grateful, be very grateful that someone sees you struggling and panting and then just grab the bottle of water they offer, and keep running.

If you get a hand up when you fall while running, be simply grateful, give the person a hug and keep running. Don’t just stop because you fell down.

Yes! You can take some rest, you can even decide to close your eyes for a few winks since your body may need it. But if you stay where you are resting under a shade and others keep running please don’t get annoyed with them or mad at them.

Just get up and start running again. And if no one helps you, please don’t be mad. Just get busy, follow your own passion and keep doing something productive.

We seem to have built a boat load of entitlement culture in Nigeria. Entitlement to be helped, to be loved and validated and to be recognized, sometimes for all the wrong reasons…

As you are running please note that life may happen to you. You may fall several times too. It is okay. The key is not to stay down there and whine and complain and pick fights with those who are on their own race or seek to be dragging them down to come seat with you.

If they do come to seat and comfort you, understand that it won’t be forever. At some point they may have to get back to their own race; and it is okay. Thank them for their compassion and just look for strength to get up and keep moving too.

As you journey in life too, it is very important also to ask for help if you feel yourself drowning or unable to get up. Please shout for help when you need it, someone is sure to help.

Just don’t expect the person to be doing so for ever or have unrealistic expectations of what form that help or assistance is. If the help discontinues please be grateful that you had it when you needed it, even if did not meet all your needs.

That gratitude goes a long way and can actually bring even more and different types of help your way. But don’t be a taker just taking help upandan. Get up at-some point and say enough, I can do this too. Get motivated to help yourself too.

Life is not a competition. It is basically an endurance test, which is why I always say that I am a work in progress and I keep evolving as I grow. You should develop the same mindset too. It will save you a lot of heartache in the future.

Remember, no one owes you zilch. The moment I understood this in my life, I started to do better at many things and make better decisions. I also started to own my own mess and history of bad mistakes, the whole nine yards of it and do better than I used to in many aspects of my life. I am a better woman than I was even 10 years ago because of this lesson.

Written by Ephey Malo