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5 ladies reveal why they are still single at over 30

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Ladies who are over 30 and unmarried in Nigeria are looked down upon. They are considered incomplete because they are not yet to be married. Many of them are subtly insulted, questioned and even mocked because they are yet to settle down by the time they hit 30.

But contrary to popular opinion, there are many women have chosen to be single. And then there are others who haven’t chosen singlehood, but have come to terms with their situation by not rushing into dysfunctional relationships just to please societal expectations.

These women below reveal why they are still single at over 30.

Nkem: I have not met anyone worth changing the way I live for

At a young age, I have been very opinionated. Many men I have dated just can’t handle me being independent and outspoken. They end up trying to turn me into who I am not. At 35, I have not met anyone worth changing the way I live for.

And it has not been easy with family members and friends pressuring me to settle down with anyone I meet because all men are the same. That’s not the kind of life I want or myself. I want a steady, committed and loving relationship filled with love and respect, not one where I have to endure unnecessary things.

Maureen: I gave up years ago about getting married

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I will be 40 next month and I am sad about not being married. I gave up years ago. Between going to church, enjoying my hobbies and working, I don’t have enough time for anything else. I barely socialize as it is, given the 5-7 people I talk to on a daily basis. I don’t ’mingle,’ I don’t party, I don’t go out.

I am taking my fate as it is. But being almost 40 and single in Nigeria is like a curse. Family and friends avoid you, refuse to invite you for their weddings and even claim you are cursed. It has been a hard road. Many have suggested that I get any man to make me pregnant but I don’t want to do that.

Agnes: People say my intimidating nature is scaring men away from me

I am in my early thirties and have always been single. I think part of it was simply a lack of luck or good timing growing up. I can’t really figure out what happened there, but I just never got asked out and I was way too shy to ask anyone out.

I dated one guy once and he kept saying that I was intimidating and that no man would put up with me because of that attitude. I am just being myself. I don’t understand changing who I am just to be married. I have two degrees in two different disciplines and a masters’ degree. I’m easygoing. Moderate social anxiety doesn’t help, though I do put myself out there from time to time. I try to console myself by pointing out that I am too busy to have a social life right now anyway, it sort of helps.

Ihuoma: I won’t go into a wrong relationship to please my parents

I am 31 and staying with my parents is hell right now. My mom won’t let me have peace. She is always hounding me to bring a man home for marriage. But where are the men? Dating just isn’t top priority for me. Yes, it might be cool to have a boyfriend. I just haven’t gotten around to it. But until I am ready to be in a committed relationship that will eventually lead to marriage, I won’t jump into a wrong relationship just to please anyone. It’s my life and I have a say about how to live it.

Funke: The last thing I want to do is settle

I am 34 years. I have been single for about six years now. I had a handful of short term boyfriends. For me, I have become so accustomed to being single, and so comfortable in my freedoms, I’m afraid to lose it. I have dated a few guys, but I know almost instantly I don’t see a future with them.

The last thing I want to do is settle, even if that means some lonely nights and worries of never experiencing a life shared with someone else. Plus I see so many miserable couples, people who settled because they didn’t want to be alone.

I don’t want to end up like that. Right now my life is stress free, aside from work, my schedule is my own, I’m completely independent, and although lonely from time to time, a pretty happy person. So, unless I meet a guy that is going to improve upon those areas of my life even more, I’m not giving up my singlehood.

 

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