10 lies Nigerian mothers tell their daughters
Many Nigerian mothers have told their daughters lies.
They have a way of forcing their opinions on their children, especially their daughters.
Growing up, there were many lies we were told about men, menstruation, marriage and relationships.
I remember vividly the first day my period started, I couldn’t tell my mom because I feared her.
She wasn’t the type that gave you the space to come talk about anything with her because those days, parents thrived on instilling fear in their children as a way of raising them.
The kind of slap she gave to me when she saw my stained gown made me catch a glimpse of my ancestors.
I couldn’t even cry. I was sad and angry at the same time. I was in JSS 3 and we have been taught puberty and all the stuffs about growing breasts, experiencing menstruation and having crushes on the opposite sex.
So, I was expecting my period before it even arrived. Days before, I was having intense stomach cramps, but I couldn’t say anything to my mother because I feared her.
The first thing she told me was that if any man touches me, I will get pregnant.
I was scared by that statement but I couldn’t ask her any more questions because what she told me was different from what we were taught in Biology class at school.
A woman will get pregnant when she has sex with a man during her ovulation period and his sperm fertilizes her eggs.
But what my mother told me was different. I guess she said that to instill fear of having sex with boys in me, but she was wrong.
As sharp girls in those days, we found a way around it. We certainly knew that being touched by boys or men doesn’t get a girl pregnant.
And the story is the same for many of my mates who were born in the eighties. Our mothers filled our ears with lies and half truths because they wanted us to fear them.
But you cannot try that stunt with girls of these days, they will floor you in public.
I have a 13-year-old daughter and I didn’t lie to her about puberty and having crushes. We talk about these things and she knows she can share anything with me. I don’t see why I would beat a child who is going through a natural stage in her life.
I was not alone. Many Nigerian mothers have at one point or the other lied to that daughters.
Below are 10 lies they told us and how we are changing the narration today.
- If a man touches you, you will get pregnant.
- It is a sin to have a crush on a boy.
- If any man sees your nakedness, you will get pregnant.
- If you kiss any man, you are pregnant immediately.
- If you have sex before marriage, your life will end
- I always came first in class.
- Your father never touched me until we got married.
- It is your duty as a woman to keep your marriage.
- You are not complete without having children
- No matter what you achieve, you must get married to show your worth as a woman.
We know that these statements are far from the truth.
Let today’s mothers do better and teach their daughters differently.