Sometimes, couples wonder if there are ways to keep love alive in their relationships if things are not going well. The truth is that many relationships face challenges that make partners ask whether they made the right choice or whether they made a mistake.
There are no straight formulas for relationships as individuals differ, but couples can make little efforts to make their love last for a lifetime. It requires efforts from both partners to make their relationship work.
These 10 steps will assist you in keeping the flame of love alive in your relationships if that is your desire:
1. Weather the storms together
Every relationship has difficulties. Honeymoons end, and those butterfly feelings starts to fade. Reality has set in. Accepting the idea that marriage is not a happily ever after movie will help couples live rewarding lives. A marriage is real life after all and not a romantic movie fantasy.
You have to be devoted to your marriage as well as to the person you are married to some that when trying times come, there will be unity and oneness between you two. Let love lead.
2. Keep the flame of love burning
The best way to keep the flame of love from dying is by keeping it alive. Don’t let things linger on for too long. Don’t get lazy and start throwing your underwear in the corner of the room or leaving the house messy. Don’t start taking each other for granted. This is where your relationship starts to go south.
3. Keep the romance alive
Go for date nights. Hang out with each other. Go to the cinema and watch movies or do movie nights at home. Hang out in the beach admiring each other’s bodies. Dance together and do fun things as a couple. Don’t ever take these things for granted. Hug and hold hands, open doors for each other, leave notes for each other and give back rubs and shoulder massages, kiss each other just because you feel like it. Treat each other as though you were deeply in love, and you will likely remain deeply in love.
4. Little kind gestures matter
Have you allowed “please” and “thank you” to drop from your conversations with each other? Have you stopped holding the door for her? Have you stopped running to give him a hug when he comes home? When was the last time you told your spouse you loved and appreciated him/her? When was the last time you played a game together or had a tickle fight or took a walk around your neighborhood hand in hand? Don’t let the little things slide or you will likely have a bigger mess to clean up later when you suddenly discover that you have grown apart.
5. Your partner’s feelings matter
Listen to your partner’s feelings even when they don’t make sense to you. Your partner may seem irrational but listen to their concerns. You must know that feelings make sense to the person feeling it. Validating those feelings is a sign of respect. And respect is a necessary component needed in a marriage to sustain love.
6. Don’t forget to serve your partner
Clean up the house, make breakfast in bed, buy each other gifts, buy your partner their favorite CD or book. You don’t have to wait for Valentines Day to show your partner love. Serve your loved one with a willing heart. You develop greater love and compassion for your partner when you show them kindness. And you inspire appreciation in your partner for serving them because they know they are loved.
7. Prioritize your spouse
If you put your spouse at the end of every list, your marriage will be at the end of the list too. You have to make your spouse your priority. Don’t allow family members and friends disrespect your spouse. Defend and protect your spouse from external attacks. You are different people with different needs and personalities. Treat each other with love and respect.
8. Quality time works wonders
Spending quality time as a couple is very important. It keeps couples bonded to each other. If you spend quality time together, you will start spending too much time with other people outside your marriage and that is courting problems. Make out time for your spouse, and be present when you are together because it matters.
9. Work on your love
Character matters in relationships. So work on your patience, compassion, forgiveness, selflessness, humility and love. The more of such traits that you have, the greater your capacity to love. Selfishness and pride destroy love and chokes life out of romance. Work daily at overcoming these poisons. Communicate your feelings and address issues as soon as they come up.
10. Learn your spouse’s love language
We all have one of three primary love languages. Some people express their love by doing things for others. That’s how they receive it as well. These people are task oriented.
Others enjoy verbal expressions of love. Telling them how much you love them is key. They need to hear it.
To those who are touch oriented, they express and “hear” love through touch, in the form of a hug, holding hands, and kisses.
You will lose your relationship if you force your partner into your particular preferred mode of communicating love. But learning their love language will better prepare you to be able to send messages of love loud and clear.
Don’t sink the ship of your marriage. There are certain deal-breakers that can immediately end a relationship. Avoid them like the plague.
Stay away from even the appearance of these deal-breakers. If the temptation arises, run away fast, and tell your partner. You stand a chance of fighting it off together. The destruction of your marriage is not worth the emotional release of the moment.
Cheating, any form of abuse of anyone in the family, criminality, drug abuse, are acts of disrespect and disregard for your partner. They attract huge consequences. They destroy good relationships. Love is a beautiful thing. Love your spouse.