In Nigeria, many women in a desperate bid to fit into society’s expectations become weak, desperate and conformers.
Society tells women who they are, what they should be, what they should do and not do.
Because of the society, a woman gets desperate to settle down because she is told that age is no longer on her side.
And because she’s tired of hearing such phrases all the time, she begins to scheme, to plot and will do anything just to get married.
She uses cream to hide her wrinkles because no man will want her if they know she’s not that young.o
People laugh at a woman for being single at 30. Even her money and achievements do not save her from society’s scorn.
She settles for anything, enters into a relationship with a man whom she knows is abusive and irresponsible just to please others. She just wants a man.
She is emotionally and physically abused but for us, she remains there, suffering and smiling.
When she breaks out of it, we blame her for not keeping her marriage and not even considering her children. For her children, she should offer herself as a living sacrifice to be battered by a man.
When a woman is weak and cannot mentally exert herself to bring anything to the table, we call her fish brain and a slay queen.
But we forget that women are victims of a society where they are bent to conform and please others even if it means lying to themselves or losing themselves in the process.
These days, women are beginning to assert themselves and stand on their own two feet. They are breaking out and becoming strong and we are complaining.
We say, she drives men away, she challenges them, she’s as hard as a robot, she’s unemotional.
We forget easily that her strength was born from tons of disappointments, heartbreak and body shaming over the years. Vices inflicted upon her by society.
It may take us forever to unmake centuries of negative societal influence on women but we need to do it.
We should find a way to truly love them and watch them shred layer after layer of these influences and become who they were really meant to be.
