It’s not new that women are expected to choose either their careers or their marriages.
These women who have in many cases successfully built careers over the years suddenly have to choose to stop doing what they love because their men are demanding it.
In a recent interview, Nollywood actress Ufuoma McDermott said:
“Before you go into marriage, at some point, you are aware of what it is your spouse does and even if your spouse doesn’t do that thing at that point in time, somehow, there’s an inclination to have an idea of what that person’s future hopes, aims or aspires to be.
So, I might not be a pilot today, but somewhere in my relationship, I might have said, ‘you know as a kid, I wanted to fly a plane. I wanted to be this.’
You must have heard it at some point and at that point, I think that you will not be fair on the grounds of your inability to keep up to make that marriage not work.
I have heard of people who say, I would have been married but I was dating a guy who doesn’t want me to be an actress but they met this person as an actress. For me, it’s a bit hypocritical.
Because you saw this person as an actor and you like person and then, you are giving them the condition to dump their career, I think its unfair.
On the other side, there are some people who go in, they might not completely spell it out, they just say things like, ‘this your acting, you go reduce am sha o.’
Try and understand what a profession entails and look through that profession and if it is not something you are willing to cope with, it’s unfair to make that person believe that you love them with their career and then you come in and give the conditions that they drop it.
If you love that person, you will be committed to the marriage and your spouse, together with their irrespective of what they do.”
I think men who demand their wives choose between them and their careers are destiny destroyers. If you can’t cope marrying an actress, why go for one in the first place? That’s wickedness.
You don’t date someone who is seriously building her career and then turn around to demand that she choose between her career and you. Stay on your lane biko.
Don’t make your woman choose between you and her career. She won’t do that to do.
Don’t emotionally blackmail your woman to choose between you or their career, you will end up with an unhappy woman.
Don’t claim you are the man and your woman must choose the relationship over her career. You are being mean.