I really hope that one day we will learn to balance the counsels we offer women in our society.
If we can convert a quarter of the marriage counsels we offer our females to counsels on wealth creation, job creation, scientific advancement, political progression, global leadership etc., we will have more fulfilled women in our society.
Do you not know that there are so many frustrated women, who are married and unfulfilled because marriage isn’t the ultimate passion and purpose of every woman?
Can we not tell females that their brains are superior to their vaginas? Can we not teach our daughters from childhood that they can achieve anything they set their minds to do?
Can we not show them that marriage is not what makes a woman a complete woman?
Bearing a child doesn’t also make a woman complete.
A person with a functional brain is a complete person. Every other thing is a plus. Can we for once redirect our girl-child’s mind from marriage to personal wholeness and fulfilment?
All the lectures from mother, father, church, school, society that bothers on, ‘qualities of a good wife’, should be minimised.
Let’s tell them that there is much they can do with their minds, not just preparing for marriage.
We limit what they can do with their minds by teaching them that marriage is all their lives are worth.
Marriage is good but our women should have lives. A woman is not created to be married, she is created to fulfil purpose.
Marriage should be one of the avenues through which purpose can be fulfilled, it is not the purpose.
While teaching her how to wash, cook and war-room; teach her how to make non-marital impact.
With the counsels we give women, one would expect marriages to be much better, but it isn’t because those counsels are quite dishonest.
Honest counsels are those given to both genders – the male knowing how to be a real man and the female, how to be a real woman. Anything short of this is aberrational.
It isn’t the woman who needs marriage most. Marriage is good for both genders, so marital preparations should be made by both.
We should give women the right information, and allow them decide whether to marry or not.
It is a form of abuse to start conditioning a woman’s mind from childhood to get fixated on marriage. A woman is first female, before she might become a wife.
Written by Victor Ibeh.