Dating a man with kids is not for the faint-hearted woman. When there are children in the picture, some dating rules don’t apply because the children come first.
Being in a relationship with a man who has kids will be different from dating a single man. You have to do away with some of the late night dates, spontaneous overnight visits and the ability to have unplanned sex.
It is challenging to date a parent. The needs and schedules of your lover’s children will impact how and when you both can be together or if you have to cancel your already planned date.
In such relationships, it is not only about how you feel about each other because you both are not the only ones involved. Your lover’s children will have to deal with your relationship too.
All these challenges don’t mean you shouldn’t date someone with children, but it’s good to know up front that it’s going to be a different experience than a child-free relationship.
Babes, here are 7 tips for dating a man with children:
His children always come first
Dating someone with a kid in your 20s is not easy. No matter how dashing and wonderful you are, his children will always come first. That means you need to be understanding when your date gets cancelled. You should be patient when dating someone with a baby.
Watch what you say about his children
At some point, your lover is probably going to complain about their children, but it’s best for you not to talk badly about them. If he wants to talk about something going on at home, ask open-ended questions and listen without weighing in. Don’t criticize his children, it might come back to bit you in the ass.
Have realistic expectations
Even though you and your man get along fine, it doesn’t mean you and his children will get along too. His children might also be jealous of your relationship and may even try to sabotage it. So, you have to keep an open mind and not hold grudges against the children who might see you as coming to take their father’s care and love from them.
Don’t get angry if he’s not reachable
Caring for kids require time, energy and focus especially if they are still little. That can make it tough for your man to answer calls and texts quickly at times. You should have realistic expectations of how available your man will be for you because his children come first.
Things might move slower than you want
You have to understand dating someone with kids pro and cons so that you don’t get disappointed when things are not moving fast enough in your relationship. Your partner will take his children’s opinions into account when it comes to dating you. He might be cautious about introducing you to his children. Taking things slowly allows his children get used to the idea of their dad dating and with you being in the picture.
Be neutral about your lover’s ex
Dating a man with kids and an ex is a tough one. If your lover’s ex is still in the picture, you might need to interact with them at some point. It is important for you to be civil with his ex. Bad-mouthing her is not wise. Stick to your present relationship with your lover and leave his ex in the past where they belong.
Don’t push to meet his children
You might insist to meet your lover’s kids since they might be yours one day if things work out, but it’s important that you take things slow. Let your lover take the lead about introducing his kids to you. He knows his children best. When you finally meet his children, keep it short and meet up in a neutral place like a restaurant or playground. This can help make the situation more comfortable for everyone involved.
