As a mother, what you say to your child and how you say it matters a lot. You can’t be unleashing negative and curse words on your child and still expect that child to turn out well.
Motherhood goes beyond getting pregnant, giving birth, feeding and clothing your child. What are you depositing in their sub-conscious? How do you talk to your child? What seeds are you sowing in your child’s life through your words?
Growing up, some of our mothers used lots of curse words on us and it hurt us emotionally and psychologically. Some ladies are still bound in the shackles of the negative words their mothers unleashed on them while growing up. But today’s mothers can do better.
Parenting is not easy. As a parent, in the middle of juggling tasks, working hard to give your children the best things of life, you might end up reacting to your children poorly, and speaking out negative words.
Unfortunately, your child’s mind is not developed enough to understand how unintentional those words are. They might think you hate them. This is why you have to be careful about what you say.
If you want the best for your child, there are things you should say to your child, and there are things you should not say to your child. There are things parents should never do to their children otherwise these children might grow up resenting them.
Why can’t you be like your sister/brother?
Many parents say this to their children and wonder why there is sibling rivalry among them. Stop comparing one child to another. Even though they are your children, they are different people. They have different talents and different temperaments.
No one wants a child like you
If one of your children is hyperactive or so slow, don’t hurt them further with your words. Don’t tell your child that no one wants a child like them. So if you think your child isn’t behaving well, it is your duty to help them get better. This is one of the things you should never say to your teenage daughter.
Leave me alone!
Don’t demand to be left alone. If your children leave you alone, will your life be the same? You are everything to your children. Don’t say things that will hurt them so much that they feel they aren’t loved or wanted.
You are a bad boy/girl
Don’t fill your children’s mind with negative words. Teach them to be positive and happy. Even when they do something bad, resist the urge to label them bad. It might stick with them for life. This is one of the things you should never say to your teenage son.
You can’t do this!
Telling your children they are incapable of doing something will hurt their self esteem. Even if they won’t be able to do that thing, give them a chance as long as it doesn’t harm them. Children learn through trial and error. If they are always afraid, they will never try anything new.
You are too big to do this
Don’t deprive your children of their childhood by telling them they are too big to do something. As a mother, it is your responsibility to make them feel happy, secure, and confident to face the world. Empower your child to face the word with your words.
Don’t talk to me
As a parent, don’t close the channel of communication between you and your children. Let your children question and share their opinion freely. You can talk to them later if you want them to stick to your advice. Tell them what they are supposed to do and why it’s important. You don’t have to command them all the time to obey you.
I will tell your daddy
Saying this will make your children anxious and afraid. It might also mean that you are incapable of handling them or the issue at hand. There are things your children may do unintentionally or irresponsibly that you have to tell your spouse but don’t make it an everyday thing. They might start seeing their daddy as a monster to be feared.
Saying no without explanations
When you say no to your children when they ask for something without explaining to them why, you are setting them up for heartbreak. If your children hear ‘no’ all the time, they lose confidence and faith in you.
Girls or boys don’t do that
Don’t create gender-based rules for your children. Don’t say boys don’t do that, don’t play with that. Don’t say girls don’t play football of games. Let them decide what they like doing. Don’t force your gender-based opinions on them. Don’t stop your children from exploring things they may be curious about or good at.
Mommy o, I will show you this any time you break this code
Thanks for sharing Kate.
We’ll keep trying until we get it right.
Parenting is nor an easy job.